How to Share Your Pregnancy News With Your Kids

image via Devan McGuiness

When that pregnancy test turned positive, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I had battled infertility for 14 months and as shocked as I was to finally see it happen, I was so ready for everyone to know and to start the amazing experiences of pregnancy.

My kids had known for almost the whole time we were trying to conceive that we were working towards bringing them another sibling. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to have any idea that it was all taking longer than we had hoped and the struggles we went through to get there. They were the first people I wanted to tell, since they had been so excited for it to happen, but we didn’t tell them right away.

In past pregnancies, my kids were too young to really understand that another was on the way. My older two are only 14 months apart and there’s almost exactly 2 years between the younger two. Sharing that I was pregnant with them pretty much went over their head and so it was not something I had to really think too much about.

MORE: When Should You Announce Your Pregnancy }

But I really had to think about it this time. It’s not that I wanted to come up with some elaborate fun way of sharing (that’s not really my style), but I wanted to protect them.

We got through the first hurdle of getting pregnant, but I still had the stressful staying pregnant to worry about. Having been through 12 miscarriages, making it to full-term-or even just first trimester-may feel like an achievement, but doesn't diminish the fear.

We got through the first hurdle of getting pregnant, but I still had the stressful staying pregnant to worry about. Having been through 12 miscarriages, making it to full-term – or even just first trimester- may feel like an achievement, but doesn't diminish the fear.  While I plan to be open and honest with my children about my pregnancy struggles, I don’t feel the age they’re at is the right time.

So, we waited. There was no way I could keep this news from everyone – I was excited, I needed a support group and so I had to be very selective on who I told and let them all know that the kids had no idea yet, and to not spill the beans. I know may people follow the standard “don’t share until past the first trimester” rule, but I knew I didn’t want to wait that long to share with my kids.

We had our first ultrasound scheduled at 7 weeks to detect the heartbeat and thankfully, that’s exactly what we saw. The day after is when we shared the news with our kids – not with anything fancy, but we sat them down and told them they were going to have another sibling. The conversation lasted nearly a whole hour as they asked many questions about when the baby will arrive, how things will change, what the name will be, and if it will be a boy or a girl. The conversation was made much easier since we had been talking for over a year on wanting to add another baby and they knew we were trying. I was thrilled to see them so happy and excited as well as curious and understanding.

MORE: Getting Kids Ready for Another Sibling }

Fun ways to tell your kids that you’re expecting:

1) Make it a meal: make it a guessing game with your kids and cook “baby” items like baby carrots, baby back ribs etc. Or spell it out in their breakfast using raisins and watch their eyes as they read the news.

2) Gift from the baby: purchase a toy or clothing item for your child that comes from the baby-to-be. Maybe a “big sibling” t-shirt, some “what to expect” books or that toy they’ve been wanting for a while.

3) Take them to the ultrasound: sometimes, the best way to get your child to understand what’s going on is to give them a peek. Take them to your ultrasound so they can see the baby, hear the heartbeat, and leave with a picture.

4) Hang a countdown calendar: hang up a countdown calendar that counts down until your estimated due date. This not only will share the news with your kid, but it’s a fun way to help keep them interested and involved.

:: Tell us, how did you share the news that you were expecting with your kids? ::

MORE: Pregnancy Anxiety After Loss }

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How to Share Your Pregnancy News With Your Kids

Devan McGuinness is the founder of the online resource Unspoken Grief, which is dedicated to breaking the silence of perinatal grief for those directly and indirectly affected by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Using her own experience of surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan has been actively supporting and encouraging others who are wading through the challenges associated with perinatal and neonatal loss. Winner of the 2012 Bloganthropy Award and named one of Babble's “25 bloggers wh ... More

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1 comment

  1. nichole says:

    my hubby and i waited to tell our oldest about her new sibling until the 18 week ultrasound. i had miscarried before, and had no clue how ide tell a 3 year old that she was getting a sibling, and then have to tell her not anymore… it went great with her. this time around, i also made the decision to wait again, to tell them both, my oldest, now 8 caught on a week before the ultrasound, so surprise blown lol, but my 4 year old didnt, but when i went in for the ultrasound, she over analyzed everything, and spent the first 15 min or so, worried about the tec hurting me, or the baby hurting me, how what was going on. it took a while for the yay im gonna be a big sis to kick in. probably should have told her a day or so before the ultrasound… oops…..


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