How To Rock Motherhood With Confidence This Year
As a mom, I have to admit that there are a lot of things I have done wrong in my life. I've yelled too much, slept too little, sacrificed too much, acted too much like a martyr, pouted too much, not stood up for myself enough, hidden away too much ….
The list can go on and on. Honestly, there is a lot I wish I could take back. But when I think about it and really get honest with myself, there is also something that I realize bonds all of my mistakes together:
My lack of confidence.
It's a lack of confidence in my own abilities as a mother, as a woman, as a wife, and as an individual that has led to a lot of shortcomings. Because when I start doubting myself, I become exhausted and overwhelmed and cranky and I don't know how to direct my children because frankly, I don't know how to direct myself. It's not a good place to be.
So for 2017, I declare that as moms, we can join together for one common purpose — to reclaim (or find) our mom confidence.
Who's with me? OK, great. Now just one teensy, tiny, little problem: how exactly do we rock that killer mom confidence? Let us count the ways:
Learn to trust your instinct
You know that weird little voice and funny feeling you get in your stomach when something just doesn't feel right? Yeah, that's the one and it's the one that intensifies when you become a mother simply because there is so much that can endanger your little ones. I believe that becoming a mom puts that instinct on high alert, kind of like a superpower, and we can learn to listen to it and harness that power for good and not evil.
I can't promise that it will work every time, but I will say this: in eight years of parenting and four children so far, every time I have not listened to my instinct and fought that little voice, I have thoroughly regretted it. That saying “Mom knows best” is around for a reason, my friends.
This sounds simple, but it's not. It's the hardest thing you will do. But seriously, it's the key to rocking life as a confident mom. When you focus on what works for you, whether that's working a 9-5 or staying home or not caring what your eyebrows look like or taking selfies of your perfect make-up or working out or accepting your rolls, and truly let go of comparing that to what is working for other moms, you will be a thousand times happier, I promise.
And I'm not talking about this in a superficial way but in a deep-down, gut-kind-of-happiness. When you are secure in your own choices and realize that the only people you have to please are yourself and your family, it's very freeing.
Give yourself permission to change your mind
The thing about motherhood is that it's always changing. Just when you think you've gotten it all figured out, some kid will insist on growing up and changing stages or crawling or hitting puberty or something equally as scary and you have to start from square zero again.
Honestly, there's no firm or fast rule about how you mother and even if you think you've figured out your motherhood “type” with kid #1, your second kid might be totally different. I've had kids that hated the baby carrier and kids that lived in it; I've had times when I wouldn't dream of leaving the house and times when I escaped to a job outside of the home; I've had times when I loved to work out and times when all I wanted to do was sit at home and eat chocolate. It's all good and it's all part of the journey.
Give yourself permission to change your mind, even from month to month and child to child. It's an ever-changing game and it's completely OK to be confident with doing what works for you and your family — no matter how much that may change along the way.