Hating Pregnancy Does Not Make You A Bad Mom
This morning, I slipped on a pair of shoes that I haven't worn since last summer when I was pregnant with my daughter.
As I walked to the mailbox, I marveled at how big the shoes were on my feet. Slip-sliding down the driveway, I recalled the distinct feeling of how tight the shoes were last year, my swollen feet spilling over the tops all summer long.
Wow, I thought to myself. I really, really am glad I'm not pregnant right now.
The truth is, I've been pregnant four times, and I've never really loved the experience of being pregnant.
In fact, you could almost say I despised parts of it.
Not all parts of my pregnancies were miserable, of course. I am definitely grateful to have had an easy time getting pregnant and being fortunate enough to experience pregnancy — I recognize that as the gift that it is.
And, I really enjoyed the freedom that being waistline-less brings during pregnancy. For the first time in my life, I had no fear about simply walking around and not worrying about sucking in my gut or wondering if I was standing at that weird angle that made my rolls stick out even more. Pregnancy was a relief in that way.
But the other parts of pregnancy were really hard for me.
The absolute misery of the first trimester, when every waking minute feels like you're swimming through a fog and just breathing makes you so nauseated that you contemplate clawing out your esophagus (too much?). The exhaustion that battles you all day long, hitting you at the exact moment your toddler wants you to push him on the swings “so high, Mom!” The insomnia that won't let you catch a desperately needed moment of rest. The swelling and discomfort of the those last weeks when you literally can't roll over on your own in bed. *shudder*
Moms, if you're anything like me and feel just even the slightest twinge of guilt for how much you genuinely don't enjoy being pregnant, allow me to speak for all of us unglowing preggos when I say:
Hating pregnancy does not make you a bad mom.
In fact, I dare say that the fact that we don't enjoy being pregnant is just further proof of the lengths any mother would go for the love of her children. We all get there differently, swollen feet or not, and whether we enjoy the journey or wish for our cankle-less legs back is not the point, now is it?
So I'll raise my ice cream cone to all of us, no matter if you're hating or loving your pregnancy.