Happy Valentines Day Mom
Thursday, February 10th, 2011
I would be a liar if I said I was one of those women who got all giddy and excited about Valentine's Day. I don’t! I think of this particular holiday as more of an annoyance (and waste of money) than anything else. Perhaps I am just bitter that I have never received one of those cheesy and romantic Valentine's Day cards that make EVERYTHING you put up with as a woman, wife, and mother worth it. Or perhaps I am just too busy to care!
Either way, I do love LOVE! The best part is passing it on to others! So here’s to all you mothers out there, and all the mothers to be! The journey is long and hard, but oh so worth it! Forge on and Happy Valentine's Day!
Just so you know, I will probably never say thank you for all the things you do for me.
But this doesn’t mean that I haven’t noticed.
I have never told you this before, but every once in a while, I have a dream that feels more like a memory. In this dream, I am back inside the warmth of your belly and I can hear you singing me songs. Dad is there too, and I know that this dream represents the first time I ever felt loved.
I know that the rocking chair in the living room, now covered with blankets and pillows, is where you used to rock me for hours when I was a baby, ignoring anything else that needed to be done. When I sit in that chair now, I can still feel you rocking my tiny body back and forth, keeping me comfortable, warm, and content. Sitting in your lap so many years ago, I learned just how powerful a smile was. Especially yours!
Do you remember that bruise I got on my head when I was just 8 months old and learning to walk? Pictures of it still make you cringe today, but I know I only fell because you were willing to let me try to take my first steps on my own.
Look at me now mom; I am running! Thanks for letting go of my hand.
I can still recall walking across long parking lots with you when I was just a toddler. You wanted to carry me, but I was too stubborn to let you – so you tightly held my hand instead and led me through the maze of all the things you feared could hurt me. But I was never afraid; I always knew that with you, I was safe. Thanks for allowing me to be independant.
Then, there was that one time when I got very sick and even though you were tired and sick too – you never left my side. You fed me chicken noodle soup with a tiny spoon, rubbed Vicks on the balls of my feet, brought me purple popsicles, and massaged my back until I was able to rest. Then you curled up next to me so you could hear me breathing. Thanks for always taking care of me.
The one thing I remember about my first day of school is the way you looked when you told me goodbye. You told me everything would be fine, that I was brave and strong and would make lots of new friends. Even though you tried to hide the fact that you wanted to cry, I saw one tear swell up in the corner of your eye before I ran in the door hiding my own tears as well. Thanks for giving me stregnth, even when you were not strong yourself!
Sometimes, when I crawl into bed at night, enveloped by the smell of the clean sheets you carefully hang out to dry in the sunshine all day – just for me, I fall asleep in what feels like a fragrant hug from you! Deep inside, I know the dryer would have been easier for you to use. Thanks for always doing little things that make me feel special.
And at dinnertime, when it seems I always have something more important to do than eat the food that you prepared, I know you are only nagging me to come because you want me to eat it warm. Cold food hurts my belly – and you alone, know that. Thanks for nourishing my body and my heart.
I have to admit I can be grumpy in the mornings when you wake me up for school. I have never told you this before, but I only act that way because I would rather stay home with you all day just as I did when I was little. Sometimes, growing up isn’t much fun. Thank you for not holding my behavior against me.
Just the other day when I argued with you incessantly about the right way to do my math homework – I knew you were right. And because of your persistence, I got an A on my test yesterday! Thanks for always pushing me to give my best in life.
When my friends at school don’t seem much like friends at all, I know that I can count on you to understand and cheer me up, even if I do act like I want to be left alone in my room, I am glad that you don’t! Thanks for being my friend when I need it.
Last fall when I hit my first homerun, you took a picture and ran out on the field to hug me as I crossed home plate. I acted like I was embarrassed of you at the time, which probably hurt your feelings, but the truth is there was no one else I really wanted to share that moment with. Thanks for understanding so many things – even without words.
Most of all, this Valentines Day, I want you to know that I love you. From the first moment we met till the fateful day comes when we find ourselves together in Heaven – I will always love and need you – even if I dont show it.
I know that without you, your love, your smile, your laughter, your persistence, your patience, your help, your kind words, your caring, your tears, you constant frgiveness, and your presence and your guidance – I would be nothing more than a shell of who I am today. And even though it may not seem like it sometimes, I AM paying attention! Thank you mom, for all that you do! Happy Valentines Day!