Getting Out With the Girls

Getting Out With the Girls
image via flickr user greeblemonkey

 

Sometimes, when your days are filled with diapers, runny noses, and filling up sippy cups for the umpteenth time, it’s hard to feel like the same person you were before you had kids.

My husband is so sweet, he recognizes that sometimes I just need a break and often tells me to take some time and go out with friends. So, it should be simple right? Just get together and go out with my girlfriends. Hmm. Why is this so hard? When I thought about it, I realized why it’s not as simple as it seems.

Even the girls that were my closest friends in high school and college are still single. They don’t want to hear about my 1st grader's loose teeth or my toddler's tantrums while I am just not interested in going to the bars downtown and my husband probably wouldn’t appreciate me hitting on, or getting hit on by, men. While there can certainly still be many places of common ground, sometimes these life circumstance discrepancies can be hard to get past when it comes to what seems like a good idea for “going out.” I’ve even had a single girlfriend of mine over to our house for dinner and just to hang out with us, but she seemed bored and was on her phone a lot. I realized that we’re just at different places in our lives and it has become harder to find common ground.

Common ground is most certainly not the problem when it comes to other mothers.

Moms are busy people! We get together all the time for play dates with the kids, or see each other at library story hour. But, having a meaningful conversation between refereeing childhood spats, reminding children to share, and potty breaks can be a little difficult!

They “get it.” They know all about being up all night, only to wake up at 6 am and cater to everyone’s needs but their own. They can commiserate with you. The only problem is, often when you have a free minute to sneak out without kids, their husbands are working late, or there’s a dance recital or soccer practice. Moms are busy people! We get together all the time for play dates with the kids, or see each other at library story hour. But, having a meaningful conversation between refereeing childhood spats, reminding children to share, and potty breaks can be a little difficult!

MORE: Desperately Seeking Mom Friends}

I’ve learned that the things that I used to do spur of the moment when I was without kids take quite a bit of planning now. I know that I need to make time for moments where I can just be me, not mom. So just like I sit down with my husband at the beginning of each month and fill in the calendar appointments, kids activities, and work meetings, we’ve also started to try to plan out a few “me” days for each of us. We try to co-ordinate with friends when we can, and even try to schedule in a date night with each other. That way we can give babysitters lots of notice too. (Have you ever realized that teenagers are in short supply by 6 pm on a Saturday night?)

So, schedule yourself some pre-determined fun with a girlfriend or two who gets it and come back refreshed and ready to be your best self again. Your husband and kids will survive without you, and isn’t the old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” just so true in this case?

What do you think?

Getting Out With the Girls

Jeanna Strassburg is a wife, and mother of three, who enjoys kitchen dance parties and summer time! Jeanna received her bachelor’s degree in Education from Brigham Young University-Idaho in April of 2007. She enjoys spending her time cooking, cleaning and tending to the proper duties of a stay at home mother… NOPE! Truthfully, she enjoys eating the food, but not making it or cleaning up after it. She likes to have a clean home, but loathes laundry and dishes. Loves her children, but coul ... More

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