How to Get Exactly What You Want this Valentine’s Day

While some people are blessed with partners who know how to shop and always seem to show up with the perfect gift, lots and lots of people aren't. Unfortunately, I'm one of the latter. Two Valentine’s days ago, my husband literally got me a McDonalds gift card, citing my pregnancy cravings for french fries as his inspiration. While he was right that I was loving fries at the moment, and I did use the gift card right away, it wasn't the sort of romantic gift I was hoping for. Last year, I decided to try something new in the hopes of receiving a gift I’d actually love: I decided to tell my husband exactly what to get me.

While some people feel that there’s romance in being surprised, I believe there’s romance in knowing your partner well enough to know they suck at gift giving, knowing yourself enough to know you’ll be disappointed even though you shouldn't be, and making a choice to accept one another as is and take charge where charge needs to be taken.

The thing is, my husband is a wonderful guy. He’s an amazing father, a loving husband, and a funny, loyal best friend. He just sucks at gift giving. It’s just one thing about him among a constellation of a million other wonderful things.

I’m also a pretty good wife. I’m sure my wonderful husband would list all kinds of great traits that make me a good mother and partner. But, one thing I’m not great at is hiding my disappointment if a gift from him doesn't match my hopes.

Last year, in an effort to compensate for both of our shortfalls, I decided to try something new: I let go of wanting to be surprised and told my husband exactly what I wanted for Valentines Day. Because he was sure I’d like the gift I selected he felt happy and confident as he gave it to me. And, because I picked it, I loved it!

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Image via Unsplash/ rawpixel

If you’re worried about being disappointed again, consider doing the same thing I did and simply telling, not hinting, what you really want. You may not be surprised on Valentine's day but I guarantee you’ll love your gift and that your partner will be glad that you gave him direction.

Good luck out there mamas and, remember, when you want something special it’s better to ask for it than to quietly hope that it will come your way and be filled with disappointment when it doesn't.

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How to Get Exactly What You Want this Valentine’s Day

Julia Pelly has a master's degree in public health and works full time in the field of positive youth development. Julia loves hiking after work, swimming during the summer and taking long, cuddly afternoon naps with her two sons on the weekends. Julia lives in North Carolina, with her husband and two young boys. You can find more of her work at JuliaPelly.com ... More

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