Do You RSVP?

party 

My daughter is in kindergarten. And as you probably know, in pre-school every kid is invited to every birthday party event of every child in the class. At least once a week she comes home with an invitation to go to ‘something’ that requires me to spend numerous hours carting her around on the weekend. Most of the time, we don’t show. Not because we are anti-social or rude, but because we have daughters who play tournament softball which is one of the world’s biggest time sucks. 

The thing is, on every invitation there is a little space that says RSVP! 

When I have sent out invitations, I normally put both my email address and cell phone number in the RSVP section. After all, how do you plan if you don’t know how many people are coming? How do you make sure you have enough food, or enough drinks? What if you invite 50 people to a reunion and only 20 people show up and you are left with 100 hotdogs? You get the point. 

The term RSVP actually is a French term that was adopted by high society (when people were still socially polite) that in represents répondez s'il vous plaît. In plain language, RSVP means – “have the freaking courtesy to let me know if you plan to come or not dang it!!!”

The strange thing is that most people don’t RSVP anymore

In an informal survey I did with the parents of my daughter’s kindergarten class, 17 out of 22 parents admitted that they don’t RSVP unless they are coming. So perhaps in today’s world – if you hear nothing from an invitee – then it likely means that they aren’t coming, right? Or wrong? 

According to some statistics, around half of all people today DO NOT RSVP. And that number is likely skewed because people tend to be liars when asked about their social graces. 

It’s one thing not to respond to a kid’s birthday party, but what about weddings, engagement parties, dinner rehearsals, or bat mitzvahs? The lack of RSVP can be costly and frustrating. Are they coming?  Are they not? 

You would think with the ease of communicating that we have with Facebook, Twitter, email, text messages, and communication devices literally attached to our hips 24/7 RSVP’ing would be easier than ever. But apparently, we are ruder than ever…

So be honest.  Do you RSVP? Do you find it maddening when people don't RSVP to you?  And most importantly, if someone doesn't give you the courtesy of an RSVP, is it deemed stalkerish to call them and ask them if they are planning to show – or should you just let it go?

Image via iStock

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What do you think?

Do You RSVP?

Stef Daniel is the 40ish year old, experienced (meaning crazy already) mother of count ‘em…4 daughters (yes, she takes prayers) who have taught her nearly E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G she needs to know about raising kids and staying sane. She hails from a small town in Georgia where she lives with her family in a red tin roofed house (with just ONE bathroom mind you) on a farm - with tons of animals of course. One day, due to her sheer aversion to shoes and her immense lov ... More

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1 comment

  1. Danielle says:

    We are just more rude than ever, myself included. I’d like to blame that I am very forgetful (it’s true), but I also am selfish and would rather spend five minutes in private/peace and quiet/solitude.

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