Do You Angry House Clean?

angry-housecleaning
Image via Flickr/ ninja gecko

When I’m annoyed, I angry house clean.

Which pretty much means my house is usually immaculate.

Maybe not right now, but when it is, someone is bound to leave something in the way and I am, therefore, bound to grab the Windex or Lysol and huff and puff my way to a spotless bathroom mirror, clean floor or organized kitchen sink.

There is nothing I can stand less than grubby finger prints all over my mirror when I am trying get my eyebrow just right.

I want to know the culprit. I DEMAND to know, with paper towel and blue spray in hand, who DARED to write their initials in sneeze. There is a perfectly good toilet roll an arm’s length away until I look and, yep, whattaya know?!

THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER ROLL.

So, I replace it and LET EVERYONE KNOW I have replaced it and then I begin vacuuming.

Because nothing cleanses the soul like crisp lines of vacuumed carpet.

Ahh, my special place! 

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No matter what, you can find me vacuuming my angries away, every night, around 8 pm. If someone leaves a glass in the sink after I did the dishes, it’s possible that I may flip out and start pointing at all the bits of white something or other and Dorito shavings on the carpet I JUST CLEANED.

Just to be clear, I do not have OCD. I angry house clean.

Of course if it’s my mess, it doesn’t bother me: my kitchen table is an epic disaster right now; serving as my desk while I pack and get ready to move. But the snack bag that used to be filled with yogurt pretzels is most definitely not mine and the size-10 man flops are, yep, still not mine, and the towel ALMOST in the laundry basket is not mine either.

This is payback, folks.

As a teenager, I didn’t clean anything. Not until I was thisclose to popping out my daughter at 21 did I put the chaos and path THROUGH the clothes away, open my hoarding closet, and discard, vacuum, and do all the dishes. My grandmother — when I was almost too old for grandmothers to do these things — made me sign a contract that I would start doing dishes.

Picking up after myself was epic torture back then, so logically I now torture my family about it. With the sanctimony and righteousness that only I can have. 

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How do you deal with stress and the things in life that get under your skin? Do you angry house clean like me or do you cope in some other way?

 

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Do You Angry House Clean?

Liz Henry is the irreverent voice behind the award-winning blog The Six Year Itch. She lives with her daughter and her partner, Slasher, in Philadelphia. That's not his real name and that's not her real hair color. Her soft middle is totally real. Liz graduated summa cum lazy with a degree in English literature, which means she knows how to write properly, but rarely does. She loves Harry Potter and Luna is her favorite. ... More

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8 comments

  1. I like this article; thanks for sharing. I also angry clean from time to time. Since I’m a stay at home mom, I am always picking up this and wiping down that. My angry cleaning generally kicks off when chores aren’t being done properly and everyone is just messing and cluttering up every room they walk in. One of my biggest pet peeves is waking up to a mess in the living room or kitchen, which I cleaned and straightened before bed, that my husband or oldest daughter left behind me. It’s just something about a put away house in the morning that helps get the day started on a good mood.

  2. CHAYO1 says:

    I don’t feel so bad now that i know that I’m not the only one that angry cleans.I also give my family a hard time about the little things that bug me , like placing the empty gallon of milk on the counter instead of the reclycle bin.

  3. Danielle says:

    I angry clean! I love this article. It’s good to know someone else is dealing with this crap. I’m a stay at home MOM, not maid, lawn guy or handyman!

  4. Blessed says:

    This is too funny, because this is me! I usually leave the chores up to my 12, 11, and 5 yr old, but it seems when I get angry and begin to go into my "Deep Spring Cleaning" regardless the wheather….I seem to find all the things that irritate me even more…like the empty toilet paper roll, or a replaced roll with an empty one sitting on my sink or next to the toilet! Ugh! The garbage is less than 2 feet away…REALLY! Yes, this seriously sounds like me…..I seem to calm down after I’ve completed at least 3 rooms….then I can exhale and turn the chores over to the rightful owners….

  5. Monica says:

    I Don’t ANGRY CLEAN, But I DO Clean When I’m Angry To Calm Myself Down It’s Really Soothing) …I Actually Enjoy Cleaning Simply Because I Don’t Want My Future Family Or Myself To Get Sick From Something I Could Have Prevented…

  6. KaelinRae says:

    I am guilty of this, I angry clean all the time. My biggest pet peeve is seeing a mountain of dishes in the sink right after I get home from work. This usually puts me in a pretty sour mood.

  7. Grace says:

    i vent clean, meaning to vent not so much angry who did this or that but just getting it done. i enjoy dusting and vacuuming always have now dishes or cleaning the toilet definitely angry cleaning those- cause i don’t like cleaning those

  8. life says:

    i angry clean all the time

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