Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

confessions of a stay at home mom

Let me start by saying that I have spent nearly two years of my life as a stay at home mom. It has been terrible, it’s been utopian, and everything in between. I would not trade a single moment of these last two years for all of the money or good looks in the world. I was lucky to be able to stay home with my daughter and smart enough to know it.

That being said, I think there comes a time when stay at home moms start asking themselves the same question, “When (or should) I go back to work?”. When I started asking myself this very question (and daydreaming about staff meetings) I knew I had some real serious thinking to do and here is what I came up with:

  1. I want my life back. I sacrificed my job, most of my friends and at least part of my sanity to stay home and raise my daughter. And even though it has totally been worth it, I want a piece of that back. My daughter will still be the most important part of my life, I wouldn’t want it any other way. She just wont be my entire life.
  2. I need a break and I need a change. Staying at home with a toddler is a lot of work and it is often tedious. I am ready to trade in some of my mommy work for time out of the house – and I want to spend that time working on my career.
  3. I want my Fridays back. When your week and weekend look the same, time sort of loses it’s meaning. Days lose their value. Monday might as well be Friday. That type of lifestyle doesn’t work in the long run (at least not for me). I want to dread my Mondays again.
  4. I am bored. I don’t look forward to or value the picnics and play dates like I should. They are all too common. The great thing about down time is that all of your time is not spent that way. When all of your time is spent on recreational activities (even if simultaneously spent chasing a toddler) you are bound to get a bit bored.
  5. All my friends are moms. So that means that I have lost complete perspective on the outside, non-kid world. Losing perspective is never a good thing.
  6. Most importantly, I want to be a good role model for my daughter. But, also most importantly, I want to be there for her. In every way.

I guess the take-away from all my self-reflection and inner turmoil is really pretty simple. There is no easy answer. You can’t have it both ways, a career and all day with your children. Unfortunately, the world just doesn’t work that way. So, for now, I have chosen diapers over lunch meetings and play-dough over accolades. And even though there is a small voice inside my head still begging me to go back to work, it is going to have to wait. For now, I'm going to focus on my family and those dreamy staff meetings will have to wait.


Do you love being a stay-at-home mom or do you feel the urge to go back to work? Are you a working mom who would love to stay home? Where does your heart lie when it comes to the SAHM vs working out of the home decision?

Images via Samantha Chase

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Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

Samantha Chase is math major turned elementary school teacher turned stay at home mom extraordinaire. She spent three years studying mathematics at the University of Southern Florida before deciding it was time to make a change. She switched her major to Elementary Education and became a teacher. After graduation, Samantha spent 6 years (and a lot of sleepless nights) working in a high poverty school in the heart of St.Petersburg, Florida. She taught the first, fourth and fifth grades and lear ... More

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  1. Niko says:

    I would first like to say that I love my daughter but for the past year I’ve been a stay at home mother and to be perfectly honest I liked it better when I was working. It’s very hard for me to sit still. Unfortunately this is not by choice so I feel awful most days. I’ll start working soon hopefully.

  2. Theresa says:

    I do both. I’m a stay at home mom mostky, and I have a part time job where I work 15 hours a week. So I get to spend the time I want with my kids and also get to get out of the house and keep my sanity a few hours a day. I have been doing this for a month now whereas I was a satm for at least four years. I like having a part time gig.

  3. Jayme says:

    I had our daughter in September went on leave in July. I have gotten pretty bored at times and have thought I want to go back to work. But then my husband says would you like someone else raising our daughter. I quickly respond with NO. It takes away from adult life and sometimes you do feel like you are going crazy. But then I look at my 5 month old and I feel so very blessed I don’t miss anything she does. She is so smart for her age. I feel like I am a big part of her being so smart she gets 24/7 attention and talking to. I absolutely love being her with her. I am very grateful for my husband and to him. I love him so very much for letting me stay home and raise her. We struggle very very much. But as long as we have each other and our children its worth it..

  4. Kelly says:

    i have 4 kiddos. 8, 5, 3, and 20 months. i was full time(50-60 hrs/wk) until #1 was 1, then 40hrs/ wk until #2 was 1… then i went really part time(20 hr/ a week, 8 months of the yr). when #4 was 7 months, my hubby offered me what i always wanted. he got a new job offer and wanted me to stay home. i was so conflicted, i always wanted to, but loved my job/co-workers. i was at the place almost 10 yrs. a little over a year and so far, the best decision we’ve made!

  5. Beth says:

    I have been a SAHM since may of 2009 because I originally wasn’t making enough to pay for my daughter’s (who was 3 at the time) daycare. Since then I have had two wonderful and super hyper little boys who are 2 and 4 now. I have been having the urge for almost a year now but the thought of paying for two kids day care expenses is scary. I did find an opportunity if my youngest can get into a head start program for little to no expense the lady over the center said she could find a job for me so I wouldn’t be paying out anything and would be banking everything I make. Other than that it would be assumed that I would be doing the stay at home thing til my little one starts kindergarten. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids but enough is enough, I want conversations other than “Do you need to poop?” Lol

  6. LIZ says:

    im very happy to be at the house i dont regret nothing, you just have to plan if you want something now

  7. Bree says:

    this going to be my first baby so i don’t really have alot experience with that….but, i think after a while you just wanna go back to work. Life live again etc…. i think it’s normal to feel that way. Also i think its important for the child to be around other kids in day care, kindergarten etc I’m pretty sure i will not regret staying at home with my child but i know the time will come when i just wanna go back to work.

  8. I have been a stay at home wife/mom since I got married 13 years ago. I was actually looking forward to the time when my 4th child joined her siblings at school, leaving me with exploring the options of school and/or working outside the home. Then I got pregnant with #5…while I love and know its best for my children to be a stay at home mother, I really would like to get out of this house! I mean, five kids…wouldn’t you?

  9. I think I feel the same. 🙂

  10. J. Brodrick says:

    i’ve been a professional parent for 10 years now. do i miss my "old" life? sure! that’s natural, but most importantly, i don’t REGRET giving it all up. to me, missing and regretting are two different things. i’m good! broke…but good 🙂

  11. Najeema says:

    I have gone over these truths in my head time and time again….

  12. Megan says:

    Ye-ah… I can’t fully relate to this. Yes, staying at home with a toddler is hard, tedious work… but I’ve never had the desire to go back to a "real job". I guess that’s just not my thing. I have never been much of a business woman, and I suspect I never will be. I’d much rather stay at home and if I was to actually get bored, do something more interesting like paint. I see no allure at all in staff meetings.

    Currently I work very part time at a daycare, and that is something I really enjoy, though. But my kid always comes with me. Also… hardly any of my local friends are moms.

  13. Leudeyshu says:

    I stay at home. My daughter will be one next month. I plan to open a small in home preschool and childcare center next year (Aug 25). 6 kids in total.
    Daycare is expensive, plus I worked as a teacher in the best one in my area and could never afford to send my child there with two incomes.
    I love my daughter that is why I am going to stay home and run a business that will expand over time.

    • Carly says:

      “I love my daughter that is why I am going to stay home” — really? I hate my kids, and that is why I work. Why are moms so passive aggressively mean to other moms?

      • stephanie says:

        From the post.

        *Most importantly, I want to be a good role model for my daughter. But, also most importantly, I want to be there for her. In every way.*

        This isn’t passive aggressively mean to Moms who think they can be a good role model as a SAHM? Because you know they can. Being a good role model doesn’t have to be connected to a paycheck or even using a degree. It can just as easily be accomplished by showing good character and dedication and being active in your community all while being a SAHM.

  14. Erin says:

    If you were fired unfairly, and you don’t live in a Right-to-Work state, I would definitely sue. If not for you, then for the next person that they hire. Many lawyers will work on contingency, meaning that they get paid when you win your case.

  15. I was a stay at home mom for 3 years with my children. Then my oldest went to preschool and I went back to school also. it felt like the right time. That way both of my kids can learn social skills that you just cant teach. I loved my 3 years of being at home but now I love leaving the house and coming back to see there faces everyday. It makes me love them even more, and I am happier. Being a Stay At Home Mommy is hard work. and I praise any woman who chooses to make a life out of it.

  16. I was a SAHM for the first 5 months and then had to go back to work. I definitely miss being home more than I missed being at work. Hoping soon I will be able to be home again. I would love to be able to be home till they go to school and then work part time or for myself.

  17. Marilyn says:

    I am going to be a stay at home mom until my child is old enough to communicate with me and be able to go to day care. I am currently a stay at home preggers wife and I don’t enjoy it. I wish I could be working right now, but I was fired over unfair reasons at my old job. I know I’d win if I sued, but it’s not worth the stress, and I can’t afford a lawyer.

  18. It took me a while to miss work! I would say I didn’t start to feel this way until my daughter was over a year old. Hang in there mamma!

  19. I would love to be a stay at home mother. that way I wouldnt miss a single moment of my babies lives, but unfortunately i am not able to have that luxury. i am currently on maternity leave and i am dreading having to go back in a few months!

  20. Phammom says:

    My husband and I have already decided for me to stay home till they go to school then I will find a part time job.

  21. ProudMomma says:

    I have thought about for years being a stay at home mom but I love being on the go and just don’t think I could do it unless my kids were in every activity possible . . . I am still thinking about it

  22. nydia rivera says:

    I feel happy about being a Sahm. I feel really fortunate but I want a part time to get us closer to our home we want to buy. So I’m going to get a patent time,

  23. KaelinRae says:

    Yes, this is my first and I’m super excited 😀 I know that there will be things I will miss, and as much as I don’t want to work, I know its what will help my baby the most. Two more days and I should be finding out the gender!

  24. Sharisse says:

    I know you feel. I am battling the same decision myself although my baby is a lot younger. We could use the extra income from me working a part time job so I think I’ll look into something little.

  25. I totally understand that as well! Thanks for reading. I am glad you could relate or at least understand where I was coming from. 🙂 Good luck with your baby. Is this your first?

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