Why I Chose to Have My Tubes Tied
First, my husband and I had to read some literature, fill out some forms (separately), and then meet with a hospital social worker. During our meeting, she made it a point to stress that I needed to understand that this would be a permanent situation. Tubals are very difficult to reverse, and the success rate for doing so is low. We assured her that we completely understood the permanence of the situation and that we were all good.
Then we had to listen to her spout off different scenarios that might cause us to wish that we hadn't decided on the tubal.
What if we changed our minds in a year? (We won't).
What if we get divorced and I want to have children with my new husband? (Uh honey … if we get divorced, no one is going to want to take on a lady with three kids under 3, so I will be in my 60s before I get re-married, and the tubal will be the least of my worries).
What if our children all perish in a horrible accident and Steve and I want to have more kids? What if the baby I am carrying doesn't survive delivery? (That's just mean, lady, and you are saying it to me when I am 7-months pregnant. You are lucky I don't curl up into a sobbing heap on the floor right now!)
Finally, what stopped the line of questioning is that Steve and I told her what was in our hearts. We knew we weren't done adding to our family right now, but after three kids by birth, we were certain that the way we wanted to grow our family further was through adoption. At this point, we weren't sure how soon we wanted to start this process, but we knew it was in our future. So if all our kids were tragically lost tomorrow, if the baby I was carrying didn't survive delivery, we already knew what we were going to do.
Comically, this line of questioning was all repeated again — right before I was wheeled into the delivery room for the c-section and tubal procedure! It just seems crazy to me that there was no counseling involved when I was pregnant and bringing new people into the world without necessarily having a clue about what I was doing, yet when I decided that I wanted to stop getting pregnant, there were all kinds of interventions needed to make sure that I knew exactly what I was signing up for!
Was It the Right Decision?
For us, absolutely! It was fantastic not having to worry about remembering to take an oral birth-control pill (I was a pretty busy mom, raising my three young boys!), and since there are no hormonal side effects to having a tubal, life just continues on as usual without the worries of a surprise pregnancy.
And we did indeed actually grow our family by three more amazing kids through adoption over the next several years. For us, things turned out exactly the way they were supposed to be.
Have you considered – or had – a tubal ligation? What has your experience been?