Bribery Or Rewards
Bribery or rewards – Do you know the difference? If you're a parent, chances are you get confused sometimes. Lord knows I do.
Have I said how much I miss infancy? That stage of perfect little pumpkins, where the challenges are about the basics – eating and sleeping. Then toddlerhood came and though I embraced the cuteness and curiosity, I must say I was hit by a whole new set of challenges.
For one, my child definitely began to show her independence.
What about you? What age and stage have you enjoyed most? Why?
When it came to my toddler and, now, preschooler, I have been pretty fortunate to have a darling daughter whose good behaviors far outnumber her challenging behaviors. However, we still have our "moments."
I've learned never to go head to head with her about her clothes. This is why, today, you'll find her in purple tights decorated with snowflakes, an orange striped skirt and a pink holiday shirt. Luckily, she is cute and little and can pull it off.
I've learned that she usually knows what her body needs. No nap means NO nap. No matter what.
And, I've learned that me having a little patience during toy clean-up almost always avoids confrontation between her timing and mine.
But, as I said before, we've had our moments. There are definitely times she has her own agenda that is nowhere near meshing with mine. It's at these times I've turned to bribery. Specifically, I've been known to bring out the big guns, such as ICE-CREAM, A NEW TOY, etc.
You do THIS. I'll get you THAT.
Have you been there? Done that?
Is it effective?
More importantly, is it necessary?
Child development experts will say NO.
No, it's not effective.
No, it's not necessary.
Instead of bribing our children to do THIS and get THAT, we need to focus on their intrinsic motivation.
Let's face it, we all feel good when we succeed.
It's important we help our children see that their efforts alone – without any other reason – make a difference in their lives.
Their decisions count.
On the other hand, as parents, it's totally cool to use an occasional reward to celebrate success.
This means, celebrating the YOU did it and I'm proud of YOU.
Do you know the difference between bribery and rewards?
What works for your kiddo and why?
As for me, I'm still learning the difference. Sometimes I forget to give my child the opportunity to succeed on her own. To allow her the time to do it.
On the other hand, rewarding behaviors comes easily to me. After all, it's ice cream we're talking about. And, who doesn't like ice cream? lol