Belly Bonding: How to Avoid the Third Trimester Blues

Post originally ran December 2012. 

“I’m over it.”

I’ve heard it a million times.

Words muttered from the mouths of friends teetering on the brink of sanity as they embark on the final weeks (and sometimes months) of their pregnancies.  From an infertile standpoint, I never understood this.  I’d have given anything to be in their shoes, yet it seemed they were wishing away their pregnancies, as the discomfort was too much to bear.  How bad could it possibly be?  Not as bad as never having a child, I’d quietly mutter under my breath, careful to camouflage my eye roll.

But at twenty-six weeks, I’m starting to understand what all those women meant.  No, they weren’t wishing away their pregnancies.  No, they weren’t ungrateful for the experience they’d been given.  They were in pain.  They were immobile.  And they were beyond ready to meet the baby that had been cramping their guts for the majority of a year.

pregnant belly
Image via Flickr/ genue.luben

I’m nearly out of the honeymoon phase of the second trimester.  Getting off the couch has become a process sometimes so awkward (and time consuming) that I often opt to stay put because the effort seems too great.  Two antacids before bed no longer cut it.  In addition to waking up five times a night to pee, I’ve now added wake ups just to take more antacids.  The back pain is constant, the bladder pressure keeps me chained to a bathroom, and my stretching skin itches like I’ve bathed in dish soap. 

All this?  And I’ve got an entire trimester to go!

I’d better toughen up.

But even as my comfort level fades, I can’t help but mourn the day I will not longer have this baby inside of me.  From the start, I’d wake up in the early morning hours, guzzle chocolate milk, and sit quietly as I imagined the cells of my child multiplying at break-neck speeds.  I’d picture the transformations as he progressed from the size of a poppy seed, to a blueberry, to a lemon and beyond.  I diligently read the books that described each milestone, using those to help paint the pictures of what was going on inside of my womb. 

“He’s growing little arm buds this week!”  I’d proudly announce to my husband.

These quiet moments propelled me through some pretty dark days.  We experienced multiple scares with this pregnancy, and when I felt like falling apart, the silent conversations with the remarkable occupant of my uterus provided surprising strength and endurance.

And now that I can feel him?  Forget it.  There is nothing I would trade for this.

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I feel each kick is his way of communicating with me, either telling me he’s happy or hungry or simply assuring me he’s still in there and he will meet me soon enough.

I will miss this.  I will miss the quiet moments that seem so selfishly special- the moments that were ours alone.  So when his foot smashes my bladder and causes me to pee myself in public, I try to remember I may never be so lucky as to experience this again.  

How do you stay focused on the positive in those final weeks of pregnancy which are filled with the awe of your growing baby and, you know, back aches? 

What do you think?

Belly Bonding: How to Avoid the Third Trimester Blues

Jennifer Bruno is a credentialed trainer by day and a freelance writer and aspiring photographer by night. Raised in rural Kansas, Jen moved to sunny Florida after college where she met her husband, who married her despite hearing her sing Dixie Chicks karaoke. Shortly after saying “I do”, they moved to New York City to fulfill their dream of living amongst the bright lights and skyscrapers. They currently share their cramped apartment with two modelesque miniature dachshunds named Millie an ... More

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8 comments

  1. Kristin says:

    My pregnancies were both fairly normal and I missed it even before it ended.There is nothing like feeling a life moving inside of you.I miss that feeling constantly when I’m not pregnant.I should also point out that there’s no easier time to take care of your baby than when it is inside of you.Just wait til it comes out! One other thing I think is important to mention is that if the author was itching THAT bad and has had two miscarriages it might have been CHOLESTASIS.It is a condition pregnant women get that causes severe itching and can cause a stillbirth.I assume it could result in miscarriage as well.If you itch that bad you should Definitely tell your doctor.I didn’t take it seriously but told my doctor, and it might be the only reason my son is alive today.

  2. Tammie Ward says:

    I never had the "Im over it" feeling, my first pregnancy found me having hyperemesis gravidarum(constant vomiting to the point of weight loss), I was just so happy to have a healthy baby that I didn’t care that it felt like my pregnancy was an elephant’s 2yr pregnancy 😉

    My second, a 27w5d preemie, I never had a chance to be "over it"

    My 3rd followed 11miscarriages and was incredibly high risk, I was on bedrest from 20wks and talk about pain, I felt better if I was moving, but I couldn’t. But all was well and I was happy to have a happy healthy baby girl!!!

    I guess everything is perspective and had I been "normal" I would’ve been over it too, but coming from a different place, I never was.

  3. Panda Mills says:

    I am 12 weeks now, just starting my little baby mound,and I have good days and bad days. I have been so sick, but it is slowly getting better. I can’t wait to feel those kicks and have that back pain, lol, but I know I will have days where I want it to be done already.

  4. brittney says:

    I feel exactly the same way!! I didn’t have any problem until about 29 weeks or so then i realized i was soo uncomfortable. I never thought it would be this much of a pain, literally a pain! Pain in my legs and hips and back! I can’t even see my feet anymore, yikes! Plus i still make the mistake of attempting to sit on the floor lol oops! Takes me like 20 minutes to get off the floor and like 10 minutes to get my body stood up and straightened out lol feeling like im about to break in half!! I can’t wait to have my baby and my body back to myself!

  5. lleahlasmama says:

    Beautiful POV of pregnancy!! I loved being pregnant the first time, the kicks the movements, knowing she was the reason I got up 50 times a night to pee, made me smile. I was 2 days over due and it felt like 2 months, and Jennifer is exactly right "I was done with it" it was uncomfortable to walk, stand, or even lay down. This now being my second pregnancy.. I couldn’t wait to do it all over again, I’ve missed every part of pregnancy these past 4 years. Now I find myself in anticipation to getting plump, feeling KICKS (MY absolute favorite part, as I think many would agree) and Yes even the ‘I’m over this’ feeling at the end.

  6. Martha Cole says:

    Love the blogs from Jennifer Bruno. She always hits the nail right on the head.

  7. I have had a very easy pregnancy, but I am still ready for it to be over.

  8. M0M2Girls says:

    I relate very easily, but I think it’s important to remember ways to distract yourself from the woes that the 3 rd trimester can bring. I have my days but am definitely enjoying my little girl!

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