8 Annoying Things My Kids Say
Kids are hysterical creatures. I can remember when my daughters were infants, I couldn’t wait for them to talk. My husband and I used to repeat “Mama,” and “Dada” over and over again, each hoping that our word would be the first audible word spoken. (Incidentally – and grudgingly – ‘Dada' seemed to win out every time).
That was years ago. Now, I just wish my kids would shut up. Now, I dream of the day that they would call out Dada (which has been transformed to Dad) rather than the shrieks of “mama” that I hear on a continuous basis. Even when I am alone in my house, I sometimes hear someone calling my name.
Still, there are some things that my kids say – so many times in the course of a week – that the phrases have become like nails on a chalkboard. Here is my top list of the most annoying things my kids say!
1. I have to poop! First of all, this always seems to be shouted out just when I sit down to eat. Secondly, I don’t need to know each and every time my children need to poop. Even my teenagers announce, “I need to poop” as they schlep to the bathroom.
2. I am hungry. Of course you are. You are a kid. This means you are ALWAYS hungry. Even after I have just provided you with a home cooked meal that you turned your nose up at. Even after you just ate a pint of strawberries. You are always hungry. And guess what kiddos? The older you get, the more able you are to fulfill your own hunger needs. Even my 6-year-old knows how to cook a hot pocket.
3. I am tired. Right!? You are tired, until bedtime. You are tired when there is something to do that you don’t want to do. Then suddenly when it’s time to go to bed, you can’t sleep.
4. “Mama!” Sure, I am glad my kids ‘call me' but depending on the tone of the “Mama,” this word drives me crazy. Long ago I figured out what the different cries of my children meant. Now I have figured out what the different cries of ‘Mama,” mean.
5. We have nothing to eat. My kids will stand in front of the refrigerator with the door open as if there is a long reel movie going on in there. Then, they will search the pantries. And then, they will say – “There is nothing to eat!” Which is absolutely NOT true. It's just that there is nothing to eat that they WANT at that moment. My routine response is – ‘have a banana or an apple!'
6. I will do it later. So children, when exactly is later? Does later mean that you are simply hoping that I will forget I asked you to put up your laundry – and then suddenly you won't do it at all? Is later tomorrow, in 5 minutes, in an hour? I know what ‘later' means. It means NEVER or not until you yell at me to do whatever it was you asked me to do.
7. I promise! It isn’t that I don’t trust my kids, but whenever they say, “I promise, pretty please Mama,” I know that I am about to be duped. Such as, “I promise if you get me this puppy I will feed it every day.” Or, “I promise I won’t take all the clothes off of this Barbie, cut off all her hair and use a sharpie to tattoo her face!”
8. That's UNFAIR! Oh, the conversations about equality that I have with my children. They normally end with me saying “It's not fair that I have to wash the poop stains out of your underwear – but I do it anyways!” Or, I just revert to the philosophical advice, “Life is not fair honey – get used to it!”
What are some of the things that your kids say that drive you to the brink of insanity?