A Love Letter to My Husband For Putting Up With Pregnant Me
I just wanted to get a few things off my chest this morning. And I know that those words probably make you brace yourself, expecting me to launch into another tirade listing all of the things that I'm upset about, that you've done wrong, or some combination of the two, but before you slowly back out of the room in fear, hear me out:
I just wanted to say thank you.
From your pregnant wife, who is not quite herself at the moment on account of, you know, growing your child, I just wanted to take a minute to say that you are seen, even though it appears I have largely been ignoring you.
No, seriously, thank you. Ha, I bet you weren't expecting that, were you? But I'm being 100% serious right now. This is me, putting down the barf bucket for a minute to express my sincere and humble thanks for the simple fact that you haven't given up on me.
I know I've kind of a been a nightmare lately and trust me when I say that no one is more aware of that than me. Frankly, I don't even know who I am anymore and the fact that you have kindly ignored the fact that my entire body, personality, and being have morphed into someone I don't even recognize has not gone unnoticed. In the madness that has been pregnancy taking over my life, you have been the steady constant that I have held onto, even when I've pushed you away.
Yeah, that totally makes sense, right? In fact, I think explanations like that are the epitome of pregnant me right now. I'm a walking, napping contradiction, so we're just going to go with it. So, in the midst of the morning sickness, the already-swollen ankles (how??), the pants I can no longer button, and the boobs that are larger than life but totally off-limits, let me just take a minute to say a little something to you, in light of the romantic holiday coming up that we probably most-definitely will not be celebrating on account of me permanently falling asleep at 8:00 PM every night now. Ready? Here goes nothing (deep breath):
Thank you for loving me through the first-trimester hell.
Thank you for taking care of other kids when even breathing made me nauseous and I cried every day and wondered if I would always be this lazy of a person and maybe this was just my new life now.
Thank you for never mentioning the horrible things I was eating and looking the other way when I had to eat every five seconds to stop myself from puking (even though it didn't even really work and I still got sick anyways).
Thank you for getting excited about this baby, even when I couldn't let myself because I was too scared of losing a baby again.
Thank you for reminding me all of the good that can come with adding another member of our family, even when all I can focus on is the fact that I will never sleep again.
Thank you for reassuring me that when my boobs go back to their normal, saggy, sad selves, you will still love them.
Thank you for buying me pop even though I never drink it, for ignoring when our bed was full of saltine crackers, and for sleeping on the couch all those nights you knew your snoring would keep me awake.
Thank you for rubbing my feet and that one spot on my back that is somehow already our sore even though our baby is only the size of a prune (but you wouldn't guess it by the size of my stomach already, goodness).
Thank you, simply, for being willing to take this journey with me yet again. Sometimes I know I look at you rather murderously, but that's only because I am imagining how uncomfortable I will be in a few months in this hot summer weather while you will be casually sipping the most delicious mojito known to mankind and I will want it so bad I will probably drool, but instead, I have to settle for boring water with a demure lemon slice, ugh.
Sometimes, this pregnancy bit feels a bit unbalanced, but in the end, it comes down to the simple fact that there's no one I'd rather be doing this with than you, so thank you for sticking around.
Your Pregnant (Who is Very Hungry, Can You Make Me a Sandwich? K, Thanks!) Wife