8 Ways You Can Spoil a Pregnant Woman

8-Ways-To-Spoil-A-Pregnant-Woman

I'm a feminist.

Hail to equality!

I’m no more and no less special than anyone else.

Except for when I was pregnant.

And then?

I was special.

And …

For the love of all things sacred …

LET ME CUT IN THE BATHROOM LINE/STEAL YOUR SEAT/PROP MY FEET UP ON… ANYTHING/FAN MYSELF WITH … EVERYTHING/EAT THE LAST BITE/SLEEP IN/RECEIVE MASSAGES/CRY IN PUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!

For me, pregnancy was incredible.  Sure there were loads of scary, uncomfortable, and sometimes painful moments, but the awe and wonder of it all outweighed the bad – no doubt.  But still, even with as amazing as it felt to be carrying a life, I craved to be nurtured by those around me – my partner in particular.

I realize women have been having babies since the beginning of the beginning, and for many, that minimizes the magnitude of pregnancy.

This annoys me.

The quantity of pregnancies in the world doesn’t reduce the impact for anyone.  And for that, we are all special and deserve to be treated as such.

First baby, ninth baby – whatever.  Each pregnancy, no matter how “easy”, is work, and requires some indulgence.  

Here are some ways you can spoil the pregnant woman in your life.

1.  Empathize.  A common argument in my house is that when I complain, my husband offers solutions.  Solutions were the last things I wanted when I was pregnant.  I wanted a sympathetic face, agreement, and a few, “I don’t know how you do its”, “That has to be soooo uncomfortables”, and “You are so amazings”.  

2.  Let her sleep.  Nothing zaps your energy like pregnancy.  Let her sleep in on the weekends, eat dinner in bed, and nap whenever possible.  Trust me, she’s exhausted.

3.  Run the errands.  Short of the energy burst some women get in the second trimester, every effort is more labored (pun intended) than it was before pregnancy.  A simple trip to the grocery store can become a dreaded nightmare.  Offer to help with carpooling your older children, picking up dinner, dropping off dry cleaning, and even putting gas in her car.

4.  Be involved.  Nothing makes us happier than knowing you are as excited and as prepared for having a baby as we are.  Go to as many doctor’s appointments as you can.  Hold her hand (and your breath) when you see your baby on the ultrasound screen.  Take birthing classes without complaint.  Read the books… and then discuss them with her.  Handle the registry gun at Babies R Us like it’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever done, and, for the love of Oprah, engage with her baby bump like you expect it to engage right back!

5.  Pamper her.  I am a bit of a freak of nature and don’t typically enjoy massage, but by my sixth month of pregnancy, there were few things I craved more.  Rub her.  Feet, calves, shoulders, hands… doesn’t matter.  Also, painting her own toenails may be a thing of the past until her belly gets out of the way.  Buy her a pedicure or offer to give her one at home.

6.  Hire a housekeeper.  No, you don’t need a live-in maid, but coming home to a spotless house – just once even – is food for a pregnant woman’s soul.  Our minds are jumbled with baby chaos, and our bodies no longer allow us to bend to extract the dust bunnies from behind the toilet.  Providing us with a clean house without any effort will score you big points.  Can’t afford a maid service?  Bust out the rubber gloves and scouring pads!  You will probably do a better job anyway.

7.  Buy the loot.  Babies are expensive, and I realize money doesn’t grow on trees, but don’t get so wrapped up in saving for the baby that you fail to spend money on the pregnancy.  Make sure she has enough maternity clothes to keep her from sobbing in her closet each morning.  Buy a pregnancy pillow.  Do it.  Maybe she needs a yoga ball to sit on, a bigger bra, or bigger, more comfy shoes?  Maybe flowers would brighten up her nightstand and her week?  Spending a little money on mom can make a world of difference for the whole family.

8.  Get a push present.  I’m not talking about something extravagant.  I’m not even saying you have to buy something.  But the woman who just gave birth to your child needs something commemorative that says, “I love you.  Thank You.  We did it!”  Scribble all your emotions and gratitude on a hospital napkin if that’s what it takes.  Buy her a bracelet with your baby’s birthstone.  Collect a rock from the landscaping outside of the birthing center and tell her she’s your rock.  Make her feel special.  Let her know you know she’s amazing and strong and that she’s already the very best mother on Earth.  

What do you think?

8 Ways You Can Spoil a Pregnant Woman

Jennifer Bruno is a credentialed trainer by day and a freelance writer and aspiring photographer by night. Raised in rural Kansas, Jen moved to sunny Florida after college where she met her husband, who married her despite hearing her sing Dixie Chicks karaoke. Shortly after saying “I do”, they moved to New York City to fulfill their dream of living amongst the bright lights and skyscrapers. They currently share their cramped apartment with two modelesque miniature dachshunds named Millie an ... More

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20 comments

  1. Profile photo of julius julius says:

    Well I’m on my third child I feel so stressed and tired my youngest is four months and my oldest well be eleven. I’m two months at the moment I ‘ve been with my hubby going on six and a half years. But it doesn’t seem the same when we first fell in lo e I keep telling him that it’s like I don’t get much help when I want to relax he complains about always watching our son a d I’m the one always clear ing and trying to cook oh I don’t know how to explain how he is but even if I crave food in middle of night he complains I don’t know why isn’t pregnant woman crave food different times it’s not like he does all the cleaning and to try do stuff with me like hug me kiss me or lay with me to watch movies or something it’s different we don’t do stuff like that like we use to I’ve been so stressed sometimes I don’t know what to do are how to feel that’s part of what’s been happening there’s more I can say but can’t do nothing about it right now..

  2. I think I may just have to send this link to my own fella. These all sound wonderful to me, especially the “let her sleep” part. I’d kill to be allowed to nap once in a while!

  3. Profile photo of Alison Alison says:

    I’m lucky enough to be a housewife already, but even with just doing house work, cooking, and cleaning, I’m still exhausted ALL THE TIME. My partner’s mom worked full time when she was pregnant with all four of her kids, so he doesn’t quite understand just how exhausting being pregnant is. Even his mom is sympathetic toward me, cause she understands what it’s like. I know I’m lucky because I don’t work, but it’s still tiring. That is my only real complaint right now. I just want to be able to rest without being hassled about it.

  4. Profile photo of cassie cassie says:

    I love the post. My husband isnt the worst but I wish he could be more sympathetic and take more initiative. I love him though and he does make efforts, even if I have to ask him or turn into a raging lunatic to get my point across. (Yes, I admit that I have issues…Big Time!) But he sticks around and puts up with my nonsesnse. Man, I’m hungry.

  5. Profile photo of Gema Gema says:

    My faves:

    #2: My husband hates it when we make plans to do something and I end up over-sleeping or wanting to come home early because I feel tired! The first pregnancy he totally did not understand it. This time around with baby #2, he is so much better! He helps me out and tells me to go sleep and he’ll watch the baby for an hour. My mom & mother-in-law also do the same when they know I am exhausted!

    #7: The first pregnancy, my husband didn’t think about clothes for anyone except the baby! Some of his bigger clothes fit me okay in my second trimester but he started noticing that I was stretching out his clothes and sometimes getting stains on them. He’s a total neat freak about his clothes. Well I broke down one day when he was mentioning it to my sister and I cried and my sister slapped him upside the head and told him to stop complaining or better yet to buy me a new wardrobe. I couldn’t squeeze into my own clothes! And he apologized and took me on a shopping spree. But I totally would do the sobbing thing every morning when I opened up the closet. I should have told him myself that I wanted new clothes, more like I needed it. But I just felt kind of ashamed for asking. No idea why. But luckily he understood when someone else put it into perspective for him.

    #8: It definitely makes you feel special when your husband can look at you while you are giving birth or right after and convincingly tell you that you’re beautiful and he appreciates you. I was so scared with baby #1. I didn’t take any pain meds and by the time I wanted some, it was too late! But having him by my side helped me through it. He kept telling me he was proud of me for being so strong and brave. He told me he would get me a new pandora charm that would stand for our new baby. And even though we went through some financial troubles after the baby and I still have not received my new charm, I feel amazing knowing he was with me through it all and his words were the best present. I think sometimes that even though the guy doesn’t do the pushing, they deserve a treat too!

    I feel blessed that my husband tries his hardest to understand me and to help me. Sometimes I am to blame because I wish he could read my mind or just do things without me asking him to. But sometimes, I have to suck it up and tell him when I need help or when I feel hurt. When I do it, he jumps up and does what he can. Once, I couldn’t paint my toenails and he offered to do it. He hurt me while cutting one of my nails but in the end, it felt nice to know he did my toenails even though I couldn’t see them and he’s so loving. It’s nice to be pampered so I return the favor after he plays soccer and tries a move that he is a little too … old … for and he needs a massage or when he wants a new game for his playstation I don’t nag him for it. I’m just glad to have him and I’m thankful that he is so involved in our son’s life and he cares for me so I can’t always expect it to be just about me 🙂

  6. Profile photo of Kaitlyn Kaitlyn says:

    This is our third baby and not once has it been “exciting” or seemed exciting to my husband… I just done know what to do anymore. I try to get him involved and it seems like he could care less that I am going through what could be the worse thing ever… I’m at a loss.

  7. Profile photo of Bridgette Bridgette says:

    awesome advice! I think my husband read this article already! lol

  8. Profile photo of RawrbabyJ RawrbabyJ says:

    I love it and I am very sentimental, love all kinds of just small gifts that can say “I love you” but if he got me a rock, scribbled on a napkin instead of a paper, or something silly like that I think I’d wack him. Only because I just gave birth. The least you could do is write on paper! lol

    • Profile photo of cassie cassie says:

      I know your comment is dated, but you really made me laugh! & I’m a weirdo that would like a rock, but it has to look like something or be pretty/shiny or Something!

  9. Good tips for the hubby!

  10. Profile photo of bull141 bull141 says:

    Just sent this to my Hubby!!! Hopefully he gets the hint!

  11. Profile photo of samantha samantha says:

    Just shared this on facebook!! Great article 😉

  12. Profile photo of Crystal says:

    I so want to send this to my fiance haha

  13. Profile photo of ale ale says:

    This is great and true..

  14. Profile photo of nichole nichole says:

    emphasize is probably the biggest one for me on here! i dont want to hear what i could do unless i ask for you to give me ideas, and then you better have some good ones. my hubbys latest and greatest show of how, even over halfway into our second pregnancy he still doesnt get it, is when i hit a number on a scale, and was really upset and bummed about it, to the point of having a bad day, he asked whats wrong, i told him, his reply? “so do something about it”…. i gave him a death look, and then went upstairs and cryed for a while. guys suck sometimes lol

  15. Profile photo of MissMaris13 MissMaris13 says:

    I love this! Tempted to send it to my husband 🙂

  16. Profile photo of Phammom Phammom says:

    Love this article.

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