8 Reasons I Am a One-And-Done Mom (and I Am Not Apologizing for It)
Here’s the deal. I am a one-and-done mom. And I am not apologizing for it. So, please don’t give me “that” look and stop asking me “When will you have a second child?” It isn’t happening. Here’s why:
Our family is complete
A complete family comes in all sizes and shapes. In our case, that includes a mom, a dad, and a child. Yes, singular. Ever since we brought our baby back home from the hospital, we knew our family was complete. We’re basically content with our overall family dynamic. I really can’t get it why family, friends and even strangers insist that we should have at least one more child to feel complete as a family. After all, there's no wrong way to love your family, right? One child is enough for us. Get over it.
Parenting is hard
I may be a single-child mama, but I have had my fair share of hard moments as a parent. And I am sure there are many more along the way. Some people are blessed with easy babies. Well, let’s say mine was a challenge. I had a difficult pregnancy (medicated since day one). After the baby was born, he was a tough sleeper, which caused me severe sleep deprivation that erased almost all my memories from his 1st year into the world.
Raising an only child rocks
No kidding here, I love having an only child. There are so many pros of going for quality rather than quantity (child-wise). We practically get all the benefits of being parents minus the extreme tiredness, unbearable crankiness, and the constant bitching about parenting two and more children. Besides, after the diaper-changing phase is in the past, you know you’re done wiping rear ends in this life.
We prioritize our marriage
Having children (regardless of their number) can be rather challenging when you also want to keep your marriage safe and sound. And your sanity, for that matter. My husband and I both know how difficult it may become to keep a healthy relationship as partners and as parents. So far, we’re doing great. Now that we have found the post-baby family/marriage equilibrium, we’re simply enjoying the view.
We care about our lifestyle as a family
Our life before kids was full of activities and adventures. Now that the babyhood period is behind our backs, we are ready (yearning, actually) to go back to traveling and showing the beauties of the world to our son. As a single-child family, we go to restaurants, we hit the road at the weekend without having to plan it a month before. Oh, and it only takes a single row of an airplane to comfortably fit our family of three.
Both my husband and I are entrepreneurs. This means that we spend a lot of time planning and realizing different business ideas that get us closer to our goal of financial freedom for the whole family. We are not willing to sacrifice our dreams and goals for the sole purpose of adding to the number of children we already have only to comply with what society considers “normal”.
No matter what they tell you, raising kids is expensive. And I am not only talking about diaper money and onesies money. There’s also sports/arts/activities money and let’s not forget college money and university money! As a family, we also have to think about monthly family expenses, vacations, and retirement … We not only get the picture, we want the picture to be a pretty one.
There’s just that enough of me that I have
Everybody has their limits. I deeply respect mothers of two and more kids who cook homemade food three times a day, balance motherhood and a successful career, and never have more than one round of laundry waiting to be done. But my limit is at one child. I am a stay-at-home, work-from-home, freelancer/entrepreneur who needs to read a book, go out with friends, and hit the gym more than once in a blue moon to feel sane.
P.S. I don’t believe in the only-child stereotypes – my child is well-behaved, considerate, extroverted, and happy to share. Perhaps that’s why I believe it’s not the number of siblings (or lack thereof) that shape the behavior of your child rather than the parenting methods you apply.
What about you? Any other one-and-done parents out there?
Tina is a busy work-from-home mom who is passionate about healthy living. She spends most of her time trying to find the balance in her life. She also knows A LOT about baby sleep and regularly blogs about the challenges of sleep-deprived parenthood on her website babysleep.help.