5 Secrets to Great Sex

“How often?” My friend asks, mouth literally agape. Red-tipped fingers wrapped around a green tumbler, midnight hair grazing her shoulders, cheeks, and forehead.

We're standing around a small kitchen island that doesn't belong to any of us. Elbows in, shoulders touching, snacks and sweets and drinks and old and new friendships between us.

The openness, this dialogue between girlfriends, really did boost all of our sex lives because it made us feel more comfortable with the topic and with the conversation. And this comfort gave us exactly what we needed.

“God bless girls' weekend,” her sister says. Her voice is loud, strong, sure. I've grown to admire all three of these traits in her.

“That's what our husbands should be saying!” my friend quips.

They tip their cups toward each other and when they do, the clear liquid inside bubbles and splashes and spills over the sides.

And we laugh — loudly, strongly, and surely — we laugh, because it's true.

We're talking about sex. The good and the bad, the how-oftens and when-not-tos, what we definitely like, and what we definitely don't.

The conversation is comfortable and open and not at all surprising.

“The one thing I'll say,” someone says, “is that we're all having more sex now!”

“See?” My friend and her sister say at the same time, refilling their cups, renewing our laughter. “God bless girls' weekends.”

Every woman should talk about sex with her partner and her girlfriends. Both are a part of intimacy — one connects us to our partner and the other connects us to our sexuality.

The openness, this dialogue between girlfriends, really did boost all of our sex lives because it made us feel more comfortable with the topic and with the conversation. And this comfort gave us exactly what we needed.

It reminded us that we're sexual.

Not sexy – we feel sexy when we slip certain jeans over our hips and those high heels over painted toes. When we note that our arms look a little stronger from lifting more weights, or that our legs feel a titch more muscular because we ran that extra mile. We feel sexy when we press perfume behind an earlobe and slide gloss along our lips.

But sexual … We feel sexual when we're confident, when we remember that sex is fun, and that sex is for us.

Every woman should talk about sex with her partner and her girlfriends. Both are a part of intimacy — one connects us to our partner and the other connects us to our sexuality.

Every woman should also know how to have great sex.

{ MORE: How Often Do ‘Normal' Couples Have Sex? }

So I've gathered tips from sex and relationship experts about what so many of us want to know:

What are the secrets to great sex… for moms!

1. Lingerie – Relationship expert and author April Masini says, “You need to splurge on some lingerie the same way you would jump on those unreimbursed medical bills for your kids. Make matching bra and panty sets a priority.”

2. Toys – Sex toy expert and Founder and Chief Curator of My Secret Luxury
 Stacy Rybchin says, “Try sex toys! Adult toys are now discreet, quiet (so the kids won't hear), rechargeable (say goodbye to
 batteries) and made for couples. Sex 
toys add more variety in the bedroom and create more intimacy between
 partners.”

3. Be in charge of your own orgasm – Clinical psychologist Alexis Conason‘s practice includes relationship work
 and sex therapy. She says, “Ask for what you want.” Figure out your orgasm by yourself, then ask for it when you're together.

4. Initiate – Dating and relationship expert and founder of a transatlantic dating site Rochelle Peachey says, “Tell him why you love him and why, after all this time, you still desire him. It works wonders.”

5. Read – Susan Picosa-Miranda, adviser on women's love life and author of “Susan's 
Bedtime Stories” says,”Reading sizzling hot bedtime stories is the best ignition switch to creating a highly-charged sexual experience. Every distraction you or your partner 
might have brought to bed melts away in the heat of this stirring form of 
foreplay.”

The bottom line to better sex is summed up by relationship expert and co-founder of
 Heart's Desire International Gladys Diaz, who says, “I recommend that women practice the 3 R's to create and maintain intimacy 
in their relationships: *Remember* why you fell in love with him in the 
first place; *Recreate* the special ways you used to let him know you 
loved, admired, and wanted to be with him; and *Reignite* the passion by 
doing something new to help take you and him out of your comfort zone!”

Do you talk about sex with your friends? Which of the above tips will you take to heart to spice up your love life a bit?