5 Lies My Lactation Consultant Told Me
I decided to nurse my first baby before I even got pregnant with him.
At 22 I had convinced myself that it was the only way to go. It was healthier, and cheaper, and it would make me a better mom.
Mostly I was wrong.
I mean sure, it was cheaper and I guess, arguably healthiest, but could I have gone a different way and still been an awesome mom?
Duh, of course.
Hindsight is funny like that though.
Everything is clearer when you look back on it.
Like the fact that my lactation consultant was quite possibly criminally insane. Or at the very least really, really evil.
Wish I would’ve known that then.
Lies My Lactation Consultant Told Me
1. “You have to nurse your baby right now or he’ll never learn.” Sure, it’d been 8 hours since I’d given birth because I had a traumatic birth experience, had been sedated for hours, and unable to sit up straight or at all. Even in my out-of-it-state I knew that nursing my baby was probably a good idea. But, no way was he NEVER gonna learn to nurse if I didn’t get him on the breast immediately. I know this now.
2. “Why are you crying? Nursing doesn’t hurt.” Liar. It does. Maybe it shouldn’t, but sometimes it just does. I know this now.
3. “The baby is very hungry. We won’t give him formula because then he won’t nurse from you.” So, while I was out cold for the past 8 hours what were y’all doing in there? Letting him starve? Unlikely. You had to have given him something to keep him from gnawing his own baby leg off. I know this now.
Crying sometimes makes you feel better especially when you’re 23, fresh off of the scariest birth experience you NEVER saw on Baby Story
4. “You’ll never nurse if you don’t get your emotions under control.” Because crying makes your boobs not fit in your baby’s mouth correctly right? Not at all. Crying sometimes makes you feel better especially when you’re 23, fresh off of the scariest birth experience you NEVER saw on Baby Story, and being yelled at by some over bearing freak with a really confusing African accent. I know this now.
5. “You can’t give up on nursing if you love your baby.” Oh, I love my baby, and I’m not planning to give up on nursing. Matter of fact, even with your dysfunctional consulting I will go on to nurse this baby until after he celebrates his 15 month day. But, even if I’d decided to give him formula, it wouldn’t have been because I loved him any less. I know this now.
Please note: my in-hospital lactation consultant was not the norm. She was an overbearing witch of a woman just not a good fit for us. I went on to find another consultant who helped me figure out the nursing while crying thing just fine and I had a wonderful one after the birth of both my second and third children.
The point of this whole thing is to say that nursing is really hard. Sometimes so hard you cry. But you can always fix it, by getting help and sticking to it, or by getting help and finding another option that works better for you and your baby. Because being a good mom is not all about the boobs and don’t let crazy people tell you otherwise.
Image via Amanda Rodriguez