4 Against 1
My children love to fight and bicker about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. They will collectively argue the color of the sky just for the sake of the debate. (Either that, or they have conspired together in order push me right over the edge of sanity.)
I don’t know how many times during the day I've found myself mediating stupid arguments over whose turn it is to sit “SHOTGUN” (I hate that word) or clean off the table after dinner. I have tried the whole chore charts and schedules posted on the fridge, but have found that they don’t work that well for my family. (And are just more work on me.)
Even though my girls argue all the time (and would never admit how much they love each other), I find it amazing how well they come together to gang up on me. WTH?
For instance. The other day they wanted me to take them to a movie. I said No. The toddler wanted to see Tangled Ever After. The older ones each wanted to see something else (of course). I had to work and didn’t really want to spend $60 to go see a movie – especially when they couldn’t decide on one. “How about a Redbox?” I offered. Suddenly – they all four agree shaking their heads NO. And I was the meanest mama ever. They huddled on the couch pouting together talking about how I never take them to do anything. (Ahhh, hello girls…I can hear you.)
When I asked them what they wanted for dinner last night, each had a different response. One wanted steak and salad, another wanted chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes, one wasn’t hungry (because she had eaten an entire bag of potato chips), and the fourth wanted spaghetti. Feeling even more confused and wishing I hadn’t asked, I opted for Hamburger Helper. Again, they all four rushed to the table and even the one that wasn’t hungry rolled her eyes and scrunched up her nose in disdain for my not-so-gourmet meal. “Eat or starve,” I said.
Whenever I say no, or don’t let them do what they want – or discipline them – they seem to somehow find the strings that bind them together and use their force against me. “Mom is so not fair!’ “Mom never lets us do anything!” Blah blah blah.
The newest 4 against 1 battle occurs with my 4 year old. Any time I don't give in to what she wants or she gets disciplined, she will cry and run off to the couch to pout. (Oh well, right?) My older girls will sweep her up in their arms and say, “Poor Gracie, what did mama do to you?” As if I have just done the awfullest thing to her. Okay, really girls? And suddenly, it's 4 against 1 again.
I love that my kids come together as a team, but I sure wish they weren't always a unified force when it comes to ganging up on me. The funny thing is, even though the numbers aren't in my favor, I still win. And since I secretly love watching them get along and agree on things, even if it is about the fact that I am mean – it's a double win for me.