10 Rules for Making Mom Friends: How Not to be a Mom Group A**hole

mom-group
Image via Megan Klay

I'll preface this by saying that I am totally guilty of doing some of these things. No one is perfect! We're all just doing our best and figuring a lot out as we go. I have found mom friends to be very important to help me navigate my journey into this phase of life. I'm still “on the hunt” for more, especially friends with babies close to my son's age. Good friends are hard to come by no matter what stage you're at in life, so when you're meeting new ones who will play a big role in learning the motherhood ropes together, you don't want to suck at it. Here are a few guidelines to help you navigate your mom group relationships:

Try your best to listen when another mama is talking. I know your attention is likely torn to whatever your kiddo is doing, but it means a lot to people to feel heard! Ask questions, but try not to interrupt with your own complaints/stories. Share your experience, but only if she’s looking for advice.

Try to be on time and actually show up! All mamas will understand that shit happens and you’re going to be late sometimes, and you may not even be able to make it sometimes, but try your best to not always be the person who is late and cancels because something came up.

This said, don’t be the one to bring a sick kid to play group. We moms try our best to keep our littles healthy during cold and flu season and we don’t need to your sneezing, coughing kid around ours. 

{ MORE: Let’s Have a Conversation }

If you home-make everything, good for you, but don’t brag about it. Moms don’t need to feel guiltier than whatever BS pressure they’re already putting on themselves for not being Martha Stewart.

If you take a photo with another person’s little one in it, definitely check with them before you share it to social media. Not everyone’s child has a Facebook account.

There is no right or wrong advice. Listen to what someone else has to say, take what works, and leave the rest. Same goes for giving advice, what works for you may not work for someone else, so be gentle in your sharing and don’t assume you’re right.

Don’t expect everyone to be your BFF. And don’t leave someone out just because they seem like they might not be your kind of gal from a distance – you never know who you might hit it off with!

If you just had a sex talk or some other important conversation with your kid, warn the other mamas! You don’t want your kid to be the one ruining the magic of Santa for everyone else. A heads up prepares moms for how to handle any information that might come from your kid's lips to my child’s ears. 

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Don’t clean your house to a spotless perfect before hosting playgroup. These people are moms too and their own homes don’t look like a magazine cover all the time, yours doesn’t need to either.

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Compliment! If a mom got a new haircut and you noticed, tell her it looks great! Who doesn’t like to be complimented? Same goes for a mom whose kid just learned a new skill. Moms also love to hear other people think their kids are adorable or awesome.

What happens in Vegas, er … the mom group stays in the mom group. In other words, keep Facebook posts and private conversations private! Sometimes mom conversations can get pretty personal, and the last thing I want when I’m sharing things about my family is for others outside my tribe to hear about it.

Happy mom friending, everyone!

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10 Rules for Making Mom Friends: How Not to be a Mom Group A**hole

I have a constant craving for adventure and love to pack as much fun into life as I can. Becoming a mom to one sweet boy has caused me to slow down - a little, and provided me with a wonderful new way to find joy in life. I try my darndest to soak it all in, as I have already found life to move a lot quicker since welcoming this little hunk of love into it. I am married to an amazing man, and I'm still trying to figure out how to embrace the changes in our relationship that have come with new pa ... More

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