5 Behaviors You Wish Your Kid Would Quit!
We love the kisses and hugs, the little love notes scribbled in crayon, and the way he still asks for you to sing him his favorite bedtime song that you've sung every night since he was a baby. Yup, those kiddos know how to tug at our heartstrings; it’s no wonder we keep them around. But, man oh man, at the end of a long day with a five-year-old, you might wonder. Despite our most Herculean efforts as parents, there are some behaviors in our darling children that just make us want to pull our hair out. I don’t know about you, but these five behaviors drive me to the brink!
THE PICKY EATER
You just spent 45 minutes in front of a hot stove on an 80-degree day to make a healthy dinner for your family. You haven’t even sat down at the table when your five-year-old points to the plate you’ve set at his spot and says, “What is that?” with a tone that might suggest he just saw some type of animal feces.
Then there’s the trying a little harder, “How many bites do I have to take of that?” No better tone on the “that,” but at least he's made some concession … Is it horrible parenting if I sometimes know I’m going to be serving something my five-year-old will hate, so I make a really tempting dessert for that night? I’m not sure if I’m trying to entice him to eat his food to be allowed to eat dessert, or if it’s really just my reward for making it through dinner!
THE INJUSTICE SPOTTER
It’s going to be another hour before dinner is ready, and both your five- and three-year-old are “starving mom!” Fine. “You can each have a few goldfish crackers,” you say, as you set a small handful in front of each child. You know what comes next, don’t you?
“Moooooooooommmmm, why does he get nine goldfishies and I only get eight!?” wails the five-year-old. Aren’t you proud that they’ve mastered those math skills, Mom? Despite your best efforts to explain that you don’t, in fact, love her brother more than her because you involuntarily doled him out an extra goldfish cracker, you will inevitably end up getting that box back out of the cupboard to dish out an extra cracker to your five-year-old. Remember that pot of water you have going on the stove for dinner? Yeah, that’s boiling over now.
THE SNEAKY BUGGER
They’re small, but man, they are sneaky little buggers!
He knows the answer to “can I have those scissors to play with?” is probably “no.” So instead of asking, he’s going to sneak them up to his room and cut all the hair off of his sister’s Barbie dolls. He hasn’t thought it all the way through, though; because when your lovely daughter comes crying with a bald Barbie and a dismembered teddy bear, you may be tipped off that the boy with the scissors hidden under his pillow might be to blame.
There are some things that everybody does; but when you’re an adult, you feel a certain level of shame doing those things in public. Yeah, five-year-olds don’t quite feel that same shame yet. So, you’ll continue to say, “Don’t pick that, don’t eat that, don’t touch that, don’t wipe that there, or what’s that smell?” for a few more years, at least.
Ooooh, the whining! Am I right? You can even see it in their posture. It happens anytime there’s an answer they don't want to hear, or a request made of them that they aren't in the mood to honor. Eyes rolled to the back of their heads, chins pointed directly to the sky, shoulders slumped, rear ends stuck out, and knuckles dragging like apes. You’ve seen this, right? This is the way your five-year-olds say, “You are sooo unfair,” and, “My life is so hard!”
So when you tuck your five-year-old in tonight, after a day of these lovely traits, just remember, it could be worse; they could be teenagers!