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You as a Mom
Author: Heather Slee
Sometimes I feel like a completely different person. I know I’m in there somewhere, but so much of my thinking has changed, just from having a baby, that occasionally I’m unrecognizable. There are little things, like being unable to watch Law and Order SVU and thinking that songs currently on the radio are inappropriate when I couldn’t have cared less before. But there are a couple big, fundamental things that have changed for me. And they’re welcomed changes.
First, I’m tough. I have been a wimp my entire life, always wanting to please people, have people like me, and so on. That changed overnight. I’m still polite and kind, I hope, but I am no longer shy about what my child needs, whether it’s medical care, rocks not thrown at her on the playground, or being able to hold her blankie at daycare when there is a strict blankets-at-naptime-only policy. I speak up for myself and my daughter.
Second, I’m brave. It’s not that I’m not scared. I’m terrified of everything—illness, injury, making parenting mistakes, hurt feelings, everything. However, Ambrose Redmoon said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” So even when a crisis rises, I don’t crumble. I want to crumble. I want someone to swoop down and correct the situation. But I do what needs to be done. I am brave.
Lastly, I have discovered my potential; for toughness, for bravery, and for love. Especially love. I’ve heard many new moms marvel at this, saying they never knew what it was like to love like a mother. I never knew I had all this in me. It makes me feel like there could be even more inside me.
And while I’ve changed a great deal, I know I’m still in there. I’ll still pass on my love of books and music, my sense of humor, my ethics and beliefs, and all those things I’ve always been, on to my daughter. It’s difficult sometimes to accept the change that has occurred, but the benefits of the change greatly outweigh the fear of actually changing.
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