Who’s in the Delivery Room?

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new mother with her new babyIt’s almost show time! Every day you are getting closer and closer to your due date. You may be excited, scared, nervous, elated, and so, so much more. Chances are, friends and family are also looking forward to this big day. So the question is, who is going to be in the delivery room with you?

A recent search of the Internet uncovered a quirky blog about this topic. The real question this blog posed was whether or not men should be in the delivery room during the birthing process. Yes, these men would usually be the husband or significant other of those going through the birthing process. First, I was taken aback with the thought, “why shouldn’t men be there?” Is there really a right answer?

Men and women are different. That is obvious. Each relationship is unique and you and your honey may have your differences once in a while. So, how will you both handle the pain, stress, and emotion of the child birthing process? It’s an interesting question. Are there others – i.e. your mom, sister or best friend, whom you might find more soothing and supportive?

Maybe they all will be there. Some labor and delivery suites look more like a grand party than a hospital room. The gang is all there.

Other times, a woman may decide a hubby and another friend or family member is all they desire. The rest of the family and friends can wait outside. Or, they can even be called for a visit following the birth.

Remember, there is a lot that happens before, during, and after the childbirth process. This not only includes the medical procedures that may need to occur (i.e. episiotomy), but also those first moments following birth when you and your baby will be cleaned up and you may attempt to breastfeed. All of this can leave you a bit nervous. If having a ton of people as witness to this miracle makes you even more apprehensive, it’s okay to make them wait.

As the pregnant one, your wishes trump all others. It’s you and your body (and a lot of body there is during childbirth). Don’t fret about making your wishes known. Parenthood will be full of times when you need to be (and will be) the only advocate for both you and your baby. This role starts now. Embrace it and even celebrate it.

Oh, and as for me, yes, I did let my hubby in the room. He is “okay” for a man (wink).

What do you think? Who’s in the Delivery Room?

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41 comments

  1. Avatar of Alison Alison says:

    I want my boyfriend and my best friend to be with me, but that’s it. I love my mother to death, but she will stress me out. And as much as I adore his mom, I don’t feel like I’d be comfortable with her there. I’m not close enough to anyone else to let them be in the room, and I think more than two people would be stressful.

  2. Avatar of Kara Kara says:

    Only my husband. This is my first baby and I’m not sure what to expect and I don’t want anyone else to be in there except my husband, doctors, and nurses. There’s no need and they would just stress me out. It’s going to be messy and I’m going to be vulnerable so there’s no point in adding other people; they really just want to see the baby anyways, so they can wait until labor/delivery is over!

  3. Avatar of Moyo Moyo says:

    My husband hasn’t fully agreed on being in the room. hmmmmm. . .

  4. Avatar of Cassandra Cassandra says:

    My partner and my 6 year old daughter will be present. My daughter told me last night that she wanted to watch from the vaginal entry – but I think it is best for her to remain sheltered from that (it might put her off having babies for life!)

  5. Avatar of Reyna Reyna says:

    I’d love my sister to be there, but she lives across the country from me and so timing everything may be problematic.

  6. Avatar of Krystal Krystal says:

    I want my husband in the room. If he can’t be there I want my step-mother or my sister there. Under no circumstance do I want my mother-in-law in there (I’d probably kill her), although she’s been trying to push her way in. She actually tried to talk me into bringing her to my ultrasound instead of my husband. Ugh!!! She however has refused to listen to either my politely worded refusals or my flat out “NO!”.

  7. Avatar of Schazaura Schazaura says:

    I want my boyfriend in the room. He has said that he wants to be there, so I think it’s okay, but I also want my mom. But I’m also scared for the whole mother-in-law thing. I don’t want her in there. I would feel very uncomfortable with her there. After I give birth, I just want it to be me and my boyfriend. Everybody else can wait to see my newborn.

    • Avatar of kim kim says:

      my boyfriend also said he wants to be there and i get that but i am a little concerned that it will gross him out! i can see how him trying to keep me calm would irritate the crap out of me though. i will need my mom for sure but thank god my mother in law hasnt asked me to be in there and i know that there is no way i would ever EVER let her in there during the process! my head would rotate 360 and id start speaking in a demonic voice real quick!

  8. Avatar of Tory Tory says:

    I absolutely want my husband with me, and I would really like to have my mom there as well. But I’m worried that if I don’t ask my mother-in-law to be in the room too then she’s going to be offended and it will become a bigger ordeal than it has to be. Is there a polite way to say “I want my husband and mom, but I still love you just as much.”?

  9. Avatar of Rae Rae says:

    jeez as many doctors and nurses and such that go in and out of your room, you might as well invite your whole family to be in there hahaha i had different people with each of my kids, and am hopeing to be able to have my oldest daughter in there this time, if she wants to be

  10. Avatar of Ally Ally says:

    I only had my husband with my first and that’s all I want this time as well. I have anxiety and the thought of other people in the room freaks me out, I don’t think that will help during labor.

  11. Avatar of Flo Flo says:

    This is my first pregnancy and my mom passed away when I was 23, so I know my husband will be there and I am hoping that my sister who is a labor and delivery nurse will be able to be there. If 3 can come in, then my mother-in-law, but if not, then just my husband and my sister.

  12. Avatar of Nicole Nicole says:

    Im haveing a c cection, and my husband will be with me

  13. Avatar of Tina Tina says:

    my boyfriend will definitely be in the delivery room with me. Other than that people can wait I feel like it’s a personal time that not all the relatives and friends need to be there for every step. I also told my mom she could be there, but with her living a few hours away I’m not expecting her to make it there in time for the delivery….unless I’m in labor for a long time. In time we will see :)

  14. Avatar of Maytte Maytte says:

    As memorable and special as it might be to have family members in the room with me, I’m far to worried about germs and such since I will definitely have a c section due to complications in my pregnancy.

  15. Avatar of marissaki marissaki says:

    My husband will definitely be there. This is our 4th child and the others are 15, 13 and 9 roughly. I would love for my children to be nearby this time, as they are old enough to appreciate seeing their sibling as soon as possible, but my son is suddenly getting cold feet (13 years old). He is so excited to be having a baby brother and cannot wait to do a million things with him, but the idea of being in the hospital makes him nervous and perhaps he worries about seeing a baby so “new”. Although I would not subject them to the full L&D frontal, I think being nearby would be nice. I told all the children that we will respect their wishes.

    As for my husband… he tends to freeze up in any medical situation, so I do not rely on him to advocate for me. Rather, I give him instructions on how he might actually be helpful. He was mortified during my first labor, very laid back during the second and surprisingly clueless during the third:-) He managed to pull through, and I like having my partner with me, no matter what his level of involvement, so long as he is eager to be by my side.

  16. Only my husband will be there, anyone else would just stress me out more.

  17. Avatar of Dario Dario says:

    I want and going to be there

  18. Avatar of Ana Ana says:

    ever since I became pregnant I knew I wanted my mom and my hubby to be in the room but as the time gets closer and closer I want my mother-in-law in there to because she’s had 6 kids and each of her daughters have 4 kids so im pretty shur she knows what she’s doing and that’s always comforting for a first time mom like me

  19. My hospital only allowed two people. I asked my husband and my mom to go in with me. However, I had a last minute C-section and my husband was the only one allowed.

  20. Avatar of Marilyn Marilyn says:

    I only need my bf there and I guess my mom can be there if she wants. I don’t know yet.

  21. still haven’t decided on the 3rd person I’m allowed. Bf, my mom and unknown. But I know for sure that despite how theyve done previous births on his side of the family, neither of my bfs parents will be in there. He’s crazy for suggesting it.

  22. My memory of delivering my first is having both my dad and my spouse in the room with me, and my dad clearing my long hair away from my face, and making the most bizarre comment ever… "Wow. I never noticed that you have small ears." ….. Here I was about 10 minutes from delivery, and this? It’s still one of my fondest memories of the whole experience. With my second, it would be almost odd not to have him there again, as well as my hubby.

  23. Avatar of Kim Kim says:

    my mother expects me to have her in the room with me like i did with my first. but when i had Anthony, i was 16 and terrified. this time, i know what to expect, for the most part, since every pregnancy and delivery is different. I want it to just be me and my boyfriend.

  24. Avatar of Melissa Melissa says:

    Well since I’m having a c-section only my husband is allowed in the delivery room with me. I have to admit I like this because this way I don’t feel guilty about telling other family members that I just want it to be myself and my husband. Is that bad? I just feel like this is a very intimate moment that should be shared with just the 2 of us. After a few hours I don’t mind family and friends coming to see the baby and us. It’s just those first few hours that you get to spend with your significant other and your newborn seem to be absolutely perfect.

  25. Avatar of Asia Asia says:

    My husband is going to be in the delivery room with me…I really dont anyone else with me…its our time as parents to bond with the baby before we go home and get bombarded with visitors.

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