Who’s in the Delivery Room?

new mother with her new babyIt’s almost show time! Every day you are getting closer and closer to your due date. You may be excited, scared, nervous, elated, and so, so much more. Chances are, friends and family are also looking forward to this big day. So the question is, who is going to be in the delivery room with you?

A recent search of the Internet uncovered a quirky blog about this topic. The real question this blog posed was whether or not men should be in the delivery room during the birthing process. Yes, these men would usually be the husband or significant other of those going through the birthing process. First, I was taken aback with the thought, “why shouldn’t men be there?” Is there really a right answer?

Men and women are different. That is obvious. Each relationship is unique and you and your honey may have your differences once in a while. So, how will you both handle the pain, stress, and emotion of the child birthing process? It’s an interesting question. Are there others – i.e. your mom, sister or best friend, whom you might find more soothing and supportive?

Maybe they all will be there. Some labor and delivery suites look more like a grand party than a hospital room. The gang is all there.

Other times, a woman may decide a hubby and another friend or family member is all they desire. The rest of the family and friends can wait outside. Or, they can even be called for a visit following the birth.

Remember, there is a lot that happens before, during, and after the childbirth process. This not only includes the medical procedures that may need to occur (i.e. episiotomy), but also those first moments following birth when you and your baby will be cleaned up and you may attempt to breastfeed. All of this can leave you a bit nervous. If having a ton of people as witness to this miracle makes you even more apprehensive, it’s okay to make them wait.

As the pregnant one, your wishes trump all others. It’s you and your body (and a lot of body there is during childbirth). Don’t fret about making your wishes known. Parenthood will be full of times when you need to be (and will be) the only advocate for both you and your baby. This role starts now. Embrace it and even celebrate it.

Oh, and as for me, yes, I did let my hubby in the room. He is “okay” for a man (wink).

What do you think?

Who’s in the Delivery Room?

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  1. Profile photo of Kristi Kristi says:

    I had my husband and my mom in the delivery room with me for my first born. This time, just my husband… well him and the handful of nurses and doctors that come and go. I don’t like to be watched by people, or seen especially when I hurt. For me the fewer people the better. I also like low lighting, it’s much more relaxing. My friend had 16 family members and friends in her room and it was good for her. I thought it was frustrating though. A lot of advice was given, but she was happy so that all that mattered. I don’t think men other than your significant other should be in the room just my opinion though.

  2. Profile photo of jessica jessica says:

    My boyfriend and my mom were in the room with me when my son was born. This time I want it to be my boyfriend and my dad.

  3. Profile photo of Alison Alison says:

    I want my boyfriend and my best friend to be with me, but that’s it. I love my mother to death, but she will stress me out. And as much as I adore his mom, I don’t feel like I’d be comfortable with her there. I’m not close enough to anyone else to let them be in the room, and I think more than two people would be stressful.

  4. Profile photo of Kara Kara says:

    Only my husband. This is my first baby and I’m not sure what to expect and I don’t want anyone else to be in there except my husband, doctors, and nurses. There’s no need and they would just stress me out. It’s going to be messy and I’m going to be vulnerable so there’s no point in adding other people; they really just want to see the baby anyways, so they can wait until labor/delivery is over!

  5. Profile photo of Moyo Moyo says:

    My husband hasn’t fully agreed on being in the room. hmmmmm. . .

  6. Profile photo of Cassandra Cassandra says:

    My partner and my 6 year old daughter will be present. My daughter told me last night that she wanted to watch from the vaginal entry – but I think it is best for her to remain sheltered from that (it might put her off having babies for life!)

  7. Profile photo of Reyna Reyna says:

    I’d love my sister to be there, but she lives across the country from me and so timing everything may be problematic.

  8. Profile photo of Krystal Krystal says:

    I want my husband in the room. If he can’t be there I want my step-mother or my sister there. Under no circumstance do I want my mother-in-law in there (I’d probably kill her), although she’s been trying to push her way in. She actually tried to talk me into bringing her to my ultrasound instead of my husband. Ugh!!! She however has refused to listen to either my politely worded refusals or my flat out “NO!”.

  9. Profile photo of Schazaura Schazaura says:

    I want my boyfriend in the room. He has said that he wants to be there, so I think it’s okay, but I also want my mom. But I’m also scared for the whole mother-in-law thing. I don’t want her in there. I would feel very uncomfortable with her there. After I give birth, I just want it to be me and my boyfriend. Everybody else can wait to see my newborn.

    • Profile photo of kim kim says:

      my boyfriend also said he wants to be there and i get that but i am a little concerned that it will gross him out! i can see how him trying to keep me calm would irritate the crap out of me though. i will need my mom for sure but thank god my mother in law hasnt asked me to be in there and i know that there is no way i would ever EVER let her in there during the process! my head would rotate 360 and id start speaking in a demonic voice real quick!

  10. Profile photo of Tory Tory says:

    I absolutely want my husband with me, and I would really like to have my mom there as well. But I’m worried that if I don’t ask my mother-in-law to be in the room too then she’s going to be offended and it will become a bigger ordeal than it has to be. Is there a polite way to say “I want my husband and mom, but I still love you just as much.”?

  11. Profile photo of Rae Rae says:

    jeez as many doctors and nurses and such that go in and out of your room, you might as well invite your whole family to be in there hahaha i had different people with each of my kids, and am hopeing to be able to have my oldest daughter in there this time, if she wants to be

  12. Profile photo of Ally Ally says:

    I only had my husband with my first and that’s all I want this time as well. I have anxiety and the thought of other people in the room freaks me out, I don’t think that will help during labor.

  13. Profile photo of Flo Flo says:

    This is my first pregnancy and my mom passed away when I was 23, so I know my husband will be there and I am hoping that my sister who is a labor and delivery nurse will be able to be there. If 3 can come in, then my mother-in-law, but if not, then just my husband and my sister.

  14. Profile photo of Nicole Nicole says:

    Im haveing a c cection, and my husband will be with me

  15. Profile photo of Tina Tina says:

    my boyfriend will definitely be in the delivery room with me. Other than that people can wait I feel like it’s a personal time that not all the relatives and friends need to be there for every step. I also told my mom she could be there, but with her living a few hours away I’m not expecting her to make it there in time for the delivery….unless I’m in labor for a long time. In time we will see :)

  16. Profile photo of Maytte Maytte says:

    As memorable and special as it might be to have family members in the room with me, I’m far to worried about germs and such since I will definitely have a c section due to complications in my pregnancy.

  17. Profile photo of marissaki marissaki says:

    My husband will definitely be there. This is our 4th child and the others are 15, 13 and 9 roughly. I would love for my children to be nearby this time, as they are old enough to appreciate seeing their sibling as soon as possible, but my son is suddenly getting cold feet (13 years old). He is so excited to be having a baby brother and cannot wait to do a million things with him, but the idea of being in the hospital makes him nervous and perhaps he worries about seeing a baby so “new”. Although I would not subject them to the full L&D frontal, I think being nearby would be nice. I told all the children that we will respect their wishes.

    As for my husband… he tends to freeze up in any medical situation, so I do not rely on him to advocate for me. Rather, I give him instructions on how he might actually be helpful. He was mortified during my first labor, very laid back during the second and surprisingly clueless during the third:-) He managed to pull through, and I like having my partner with me, no matter what his level of involvement, so long as he is eager to be by my side.

  18. Only my husband will be there, anyone else would just stress me out more.

  19. Profile photo of Dario Dario says:

    I want and going to be there

  20. Profile photo of Ana Ana says:

    ever since I became pregnant I knew I wanted my mom and my hubby to be in the room but as the time gets closer and closer I want my mother-in-law in there to because she’s had 6 kids and each of her daughters have 4 kids so im pretty shur she knows what she’s doing and that’s always comforting for a first time mom like me

  21. My hospital only allowed two people. I asked my husband and my mom to go in with me. However, I had a last minute C-section and my husband was the only one allowed.

  22. Profile photo of Marilyn Marilyn says:

    I only need my bf there and I guess my mom can be there if she wants. I don’t know yet.

  23. still haven’t decided on the 3rd person I’m allowed. Bf, my mom and unknown. But I know for sure that despite how theyve done previous births on his side of the family, neither of my bfs parents will be in there. He’s crazy for suggesting it.

  24. My memory of delivering my first is having both my dad and my spouse in the room with me, and my dad clearing my long hair away from my face, and making the most bizarre comment ever… "Wow. I never noticed that you have small ears." ….. Here I was about 10 minutes from delivery, and this? It’s still one of my fondest memories of the whole experience. With my second, it would be almost odd not to have him there again, as well as my hubby.

  25. Profile photo of Kim Kim says:

    my mother expects me to have her in the room with me like i did with my first. but when i had Anthony, i was 16 and terrified. this time, i know what to expect, for the most part, since every pregnancy and delivery is different. I want it to just be me and my boyfriend.