When Your Husband Feels Neglected After Child Birth

sad man

Your hubby gazes across the room at you with that look in his eyes. You know, the look that demands attention, requests affection, and insists on a little, well, action.

You’re exhausted, and you just want to sleep. But if your spouse is feeling neglected and you don’t address it now, you’ll have bigger problems as the chaos of the first year subsides.

Pre-baby, those hooded eyes and pouting lips would have turned you on. Now, you want to respond by squirting breast milk in his eyes.


Jennifer Landa, M.D., and author of the book The Sex Drive Solution for Women: Dr. Jen’s Power Plan to Fire Up Your Libido, says many husbands feel neglected after the baby’s arrival. For a long time, he received all of your affection and attention at the end of a long day. Then your baby arrived and suddenly you don’t remember you have a husband until you accidentally trip over him on your rush to the crib for a midnight feeding.


If this sounds familiar, it’s time, says Landa, to spread the love around a little. “A lot of women lose sight of (their husbands),” at this time, she says. “Relationships suffer for it.”


{ MORE: 8 Ways You Can Spoil a Pregnant Woman }

Don’t get us wrong: we understand. New babies + no sleep does not = feelings of amore. Sleep deprivation has been used as a method for torture, after all, and new parents not only get too little shut eye, but they are then required to clean the house, fix dinner, pay the bills, and take care of a tiny human who relies on them for everything. You’re exhausted, and you just want to sleep. But if your spouse is feeling neglected and you don’t address it now, you’ll have bigger problems as the chaos of the first year subsides.

What do you think?

When Your Husband Feels Neglected After Child Birth

Tell us what you think!


  1. Profile photo of ccmalls19 ccmalls19 says:


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  2. Profile photo of Elfie Elfie says:

    I want to have sex even more now! Seeing him taking care of us is such a turn on but haven’t got clearance from the dr yet.
    I feel like he’s being neglected more than he does. O.o I alway stay up when our baby is sleeping so I can spend some time with him but he tells me it’s not necessary.

  3. I just dont feel sexy anymore after I had my baby and I feel like my husband dont think I am sexy anymore too. before you have a child your man does all these nice things to win you over but he does not do anything anymore. does anyone else feel like this

  4. Profile photo of PrettyBoogs PrettyBoogs says:

    Not horrible just busy and side-tracked.

  5. Profile photo of PrettyBoogs PrettyBoogs says:

    Just do it. LOL We will set a day aside just for us after the first couple months. Until then we will just squeeze in what we can. I cannot see myself getting a sitter for quite some time.

  6. Profile photo of isabel isabel says:

    This helped alot thank you so much!now I feel bad for my hubby I have not been paying enough attention to him!we realii need Dome alone time without our children.

  7. Profile photo of mgarcia286 mgarcia286 says:

    Really good information. I really need to get some alone time with my hubby especially after a long day at home with a 3 week old and 3 year old.

  8. Profile photo of Dereck Dereck says:

    I am a dad and this is second child after 13 years she is now 5 months our sex life is good when she is home I am the stay home dad and take good care of my baby but when mommy comes home late and has to work the next day I feel bad but I am starting to wonder what to do little communication other than goo goo ga ga all day and no real time to unwind any suggestions

  9. It’s really good info

  10. I try to b 50/50 at all times

  11. Profile photo of Deena Deena says:

    I didn’t even realize I was neglecting him and he helps around the house all the time I’m a horrible wife :'(

  12. Profile photo of Brandi Brandi says:

    If not using "just do it" which i find to be just a touch selfish compromise and go with every other day. You’re pregnant and he should be understanding, but also he is a man with needs and you should be understanding.

    Plus in the mood exactly or not it’ll improve both your moods and make the baby less fussy in the womb. And its great for making you less uncomfortable/ feel more attractive, but all of that you should already know.

  13. Profile photo of Brandi Brandi says:

    I’m worried about the exact opposite with my husband. He has already told me "you’re going to get a lot of time to sleep and for yourself when the baby gets here" aka "i’m going to hog her until she needs fed unless I can con you into pumping a fresh bottle". 😀 He is sweet and missed out with his 4 other children, but him and i are having a continued negotiation of responsibilities. lol

  14. Profile photo of ShaniaFawn ShaniaFawn says:

    Even though the baby isn’t even here yet, my fiance still worries that once it is here that I’ll give all my attention to the baby and he’ll feel lonely. I’m going to make sure he stays happy though. (:

  15. Profile photo of marifie marifie says:

    i will always find time with hubby lol. . .he will not be neglected. . .

  16. Profile photo of Keri Keri says:

    You should do it anyways. Marriage is not one-sided and takes compromise. Sex is a big deal to men. And telling them they can’t have sex cuz you aren’t in the mood totally kills their emotional well-being over time. That’s the same as him constantly telling you he isn’t in the mood to talk or listen to you talk or cuddle. We, as women, need that communication and intimacy or we slowly suffer and feel like we are in a loveless marriage. Sex is the same for guys. Not saying all men cheat, but when you stop having sex or showing a desire to sleep with them, this is the main time when they start looking elsewhere for their needs. Just like women look elsewhere for attention and affection. If you both strive to make each other happy, you both win in the long run and this requires sacrifice and compromise. And come on, 30 minutes of your time to save your marriage really isn’t that big of a deal.

  17. Profile photo of Keri Keri says:

    Even if you are not in the mood, just do it anyways. And if you can, pretend you are into it. Men not only need sex but they base the relationship and their feelings of love and worth on it. And even if they say they understand, they will start to resent you and their emotional needs will not be met resulting in your intimacy needs not being met and a score of other problems will start creeping up. Give them what they want… And they are happy and more willing to give you what you need.

  18. Profile photo of HMomOf4 HMomOf4 says:

    This seems to have answered a lot of questions in a lot of relationships in my and my friends lives. Hopefully this time around we will know better now that it can be pin pointed!

  19. Profile photo of Mom2two12 Mom2two12 says:

    Husband and I went through this with the birth of our son and I’m scared it will start all over again with the birth of our daughter… I will have to do these steps for sure.

  20. Profile photo of Angela Angela says:

    advice is so true.

  21. Profile photo of Skochenko Skochenko says:

    ahhh more to look forward too!

  22. Profile photo of brandy brandy says:

    let him know that you still love him just in a different way now

  23. Have to do those steps!!

  24. Profile photo of Osei Osei says:

    pregnancy has done wonders for my sex life

  25. Profile photo of brandy brandy says:

    sex was perfect now im pregnant with my second and dont have the drive to have it every day like he likes it what should i do