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When Your Baby Prefers One Parent Over Another
Author: Melissa Maypole
So, it started out as a joke. Your precious little one starts to cry when you pick her up and is only calmed by her daddy’s voice or touch. He gives you a hard time about it, and you laugh it off. Repeat this scenario a few (or more) times, and you’re starting to feel like the parental reject. It turns out it’s not quite so funny after all. If this sounds familiar, read on for tips on how to cope if you’re not winning the popularity contest for your baby’s affection.
- Accept It. Like anything else in life, acceptance is the key to having peace about the situation. This is most likely a phase, and not an uncommon one at that. It will pass, and soon your husband will be the jealous one. Any resistance to the situation in the form of forcing your baby to let you hold her, making your husband leave the room, or any other such strategy will likely make it worse. Once you’ve accepted it, you may even come to a place where you can embrace the situation; there are advantages to consider here. Many moms would love their baby to insist that daddy change the diapers or do the midnight feedings.
- Talk about It. If you genuinely have hurt feelings over the issue, talk to your spouse about it. Avoid blaming him because he didn’t cause the situation, and in all truth, he probably feels overwhelmed. He may have some negative emotions about the situation that he needs to talk through as well. Whatever you do, don’t let resentment build between the two of you, especially over such a minor issue.
- Know that you’re not alone. No matter how you may feel, rest assured that you are not the first parent to feel rejected by your little one. Not convinced? Do a quick Internet search and you’ll find hundreds of stories on the topic. Moms don’t often talk openly about this kind of thing because they feel exactly like you do—embarrassed and a little bit guilty—but they will open up behind the curtain of anonymity that the Internet provides. If it helps to read through these kinds of posts, feel free, but you might also consider mentioning it to your friends—you’ll be surprised at how many of them have experienced the same thing.
However you decide to deal with your feelings about the current situation, know that unless you’ve force-fed her turnips or something equally as terrible, this is not your fault. It’s a quite natural phase that your baby will eventually outgrow. By the time she has, you’ll barely remember what it was like to yearn for her attention. Until then, relax, and enjoy some time for yourself—it won’t last long!
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