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What to Do When You’re Single and Pregnant
Author: Melanie Denney
Expecting a baby is, usually, a very exciting time for a family; but, if you’re single and pregnant, it can be the polar opposite of exciting (take it from a girl who knows what you’re going through). Feeling completely alone, and being confused, scared, and desperate for help, are going to be a part of your daily life for a while.
Evaluate your life, and realize how powerful you are. You’re responsible, not only for taking care of yourself, but for this new life too. Ask yourself questions that will help you assess your situation and make important decisions. Do I want to be a parent now – should I keep my baby? Does the father want to be a parent? Am I in a good relationship, or a bad relationship? Do I have a stable job? Should I place the baby for adoption? Can I provide this child with a good life? Will I be able to afford this? Do I have a support system? Am I living a healthy life? Think about these objectively; if you need to make changes, don’t be afraid to make them.
Determining what is best for your baby’s life is a colossal decision, but you do not have to go through this alone. Find someone who will listen to your concerns. This person could be a counselor, a friend, a family member, or your baby’s father – anyone who will be honest, and not push you into making a decision you don’t want to make. Also, find a doctor you trust to see you through your prenatal care, as well as postnatal care.
If you feel adoption is the best decision for your baby, then you should choose a reliable adoption agency to work with. A good adoption agency assists you in making an adoption plan. You should be provided with counseling services, and you should have a case worker to advocate for your rights and guide you through the whole process. These days, there are several options that come with adoption. Birthmothers now have the option to select a family to place their child in. There are open adoptions, which allow you to communicate with your child and the family you placed them with, and there are closed adoptions, too. If you do choose adoption, make sure you get adequate medical and counseling attention before, during, and after placement. Choosing adoption is just as difficult of a decision as choosing to keep your baby. Either one of these decisions have some emotional cost.
If you’re thinking about keeping your baby, you should decide whether or not you’re ready to be a mother, and whether or not the father is ready to be a father. If you don’t have a good relationship with the father, then maybe you should consider removing yourself from the relationship. If the two of you have a solid relationship, and are both willing to accomplish this together, then your decision of “what to do” might make your situation a little easier.
If your decision is to keep your baby, you must consider all of the money, planning, and care it takes to raise a child (e.g. diapers, formula, clothing, food, bottles, a crib, a car seat, and child care). Basic baby needs cost an incredible amount of money. Having a stable job is essential – one that provides health insurance would be ideal. Take advantage time while you’re waiting for your baby to arrive, pick up extra shifts or find a second job to earn extra income. Saving as much money as you can will ensure a bit of financial comfort. You’re going to have to return to work before you know it, so find and making arrangements for quality child care should be done as soon as possible.
Breathe and keep calm, whatever you decide to do. Surround yourself with people who will offer unconditional love and support. It is the people who enrich your life with good, and the belief in yourself, that make this time one you can handle.
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