Understanding Your Husband Through Conception & Pregnancy
Author: Stef Daniel
Yes, he agreed to have a baby with you. And he is more than happy to take part in the trying to conceive part, especially in the beginning. What could be better; no holds barred sex and not having to worry about an ‘accident’ can make way for some passionate lovemaking. But have you ever wondered what he is really thinking?
First of all, men don’t see past the sex part to begin with. When you tell them you are pregnant, they suddenly realize what they did, and they may be feeling like a toddler with their hand caught in the cookie jar. Not only do they have to admit to your dad that they are having sex with his daughter (yikes), but they are suddenly going to be a father (double yikes). A few men have sympathy pains early on, which include nausea and vomiting, and lots of men gain weight right alongside their wives. Perhaps it’s all the worry, fear, and excitement getting the best of them.
One thing is for sure, men today are much more involved than they were years ago. In the 1960’s it was normal for only about 5% of men to attend the birth of their own children. By 1990, those numbers increased to over 95%. This shows that today’s man wants to be more than just the breadwinner when it comes to raising their children, and often this shows throughout conception and pregnancy. Men will attend doctor visits, be excited over the ultrasounds, and become queasy at the thought of their wife’s cervix being checked. They also realize more closely just how hard pregnancy can be on a woman and are probably thankful and grateful that it isn’t happening to them. Standing together and being supportive throughout pregnancy and childbirth can give women the support they need to stay healthy and happy.
Many men also worry about what kind of dad they will be. In fact, men who did not have good relationships with their own father may put off having children because they are fearful of being a deadbeat dad. Others cannot wait for the chance to prove their own dad wrong. Lots of men worry that they will not be able to bond with their children and are nervous about handling an infant and newborn. With some planning and encouragement however, today’s dad makes a wonderful caregiver.
Of course, men also worry about their wives. The changing body doesn’t bother them as much as women think it does, but they do think about what their sex life will be like afterwards. It isn’t uncommon for men to either avoid sex after a delivery (especially if they watched it) or to try and resume normal sexual relations right away. The point is that there are lots of things men, just like women - don’t know. Luckily, if your relationship is strong and you can talk to one another – things will transition smoothly. It is true that life will never be the same again for you or your husband, but if you are ever wondering what he is thinking…just ask! You might be surprised that they feel very much like you do!
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