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Giving Thanks
Author: Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
The moment you become a parent, you may be overwhelmed with emotions. One of them may be the feeling of being thankful. It’s an emotion which is sometimes easily felt, but hard to communicate.
Now, it’s time for you to teach your child about this same emotion; specifically, how to say “thank you.” Whether it’s a birthday celebration, simply someone providing a helping hand, or a holiday get-together, we all want our child to shine brightly. This includes using appropriate manners and being able to say “thank you.” If you have a toddler, you may know this is easier said than done!
So, how do you teach your toddler to say “thank you” appropriately?
- Provide the tools: give them the appropriate words and gestures. “Thank you” may seem like two simple words. As a young toddler, your child may be rapidly acquiring language skills, but perhaps has not acquired the ability to link words together. Even from these earliest toddlin’ days, your child can learn to say “thank you.” Consider using sign language with your words. Learn more about using sign language: http://www.planningfamily.com/toddler/activities/sign-language/.
- Model desired behaviors. The best, and often easiest, ways to teach your toddler to say “thank you” is to do it yourself. Saying “thanks” can be a simple part of any routine and, with modeling during mealtimes and playtimes, you may be surprised how easily your little one mimics your words and actions. Don’t forget to celebrate behaviors you seek (ignore ones that you don’t).
- Read. Take a trip to your library or local bookstore and you’re bound to find great kid books about saying “thanks”. Stories are a wonderful way to introduce a variety of situations and ways in which your child can say “thank you.” Following a story, take the opportunity to role play (pretend/act out the story) and also ask questions of your child (i.e. how did Sally say thank you for the present?).
- Encourage and support. We can all feel a bit anxious in social settings. Remember, this is all new to your child too. When it is appropriate for them to say thank you, encourage, but if they act shy or apprehensive, support and encourage them (vs. threaten – i.e. “If you don’t say thank you, you won’t be able to have…”). Sometimes, children may need to be held, etc. in order to feel secure and confident in saying “thank you.” Sometimes, they may need a couple of minutes or a quiet reminder (i.e. whisper) of the words they can use.
- Provide alternatives. If your child is shy to use words in saying thanks, perhaps they are comfortable with a hug or high-five. If neither feels comfortable to them, work with your child after a social situation to say “thank you” in another way (i.e. painting a picture to give as a gift of thanks).
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