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Supplemental Father Figures
Author: Melanie Denney
A father’s involvement has a tremendous effect on his children‘s lives. It is possible for children to overcome the void of an absent father, many already have and many will continue to thrive without one; but having a father makes life, and its occurrences, more pleasant. In fact, studies have shown that children who have a father in their lives are more likely to have more positive experiences, relationships, successes, and self esteem. It’s concerning enough to raise kids alone; and frequently wondering how to fill the void that an absent father leaves only adds to the concerned mother‘s list of worries.
If you’re one of these mothers, know that you’re not alone. A group of women, who have experienced single motherhood, shared how they found trustworthy, admirable father figures to enrich the lives of their children. These are their recommendations:
Family
Family is perhaps the easiest place to find a figure, because you most likely trust your father, your grandfather, an uncle, a brother, or a cousin to be a good role model to your children, and to adore them as well. Family traditions, like camping, road trips, working, helping other people, and celebrating holidays together, can nurture father-like relationships.
Mentors
Reliable father figures can be found through trusted and successful foundations, like Big Brothers Big Sisters and PSR-Psychosocial Rehabilitation. The missions, in essence, of programs like these are to better the lives of youth by providing several services, such as mentors, who will help your child with everything from homework, to working out emotions, to playing basketball. Your child’s mentor should be someone who has integrity, love, honesty, and trust – attributes in which your child will acquire through spending time with someone who emulates them.
Opportunities within Your Community
Look for opportunities to get your kids involved with. Whether it’s a scouting program, sports, dance, martial arts, gymnastics, art classes, local church youth programs, or day camps, father figures can be found. Coaches, teachers, and instructors can all play a role, if even a small one, in filling a fatherless void.
Future Relationships
It’s probable that you’ll find “the one” to remain in a committed relationship with. Take care in your relations. Choose someone responsible, with father-like qualities, who will love, be kind to, and teach your children by example; choose someone reliable, who will bring goodness to your lives.
The price to pay, in order to help your child to find someone to connect with on a fatherly level, is time, patience, and effort. Finding someone to help fill in the gaps is well worth the price.
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