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Pregnancy After Loss
Author: Stef Daniel
Pregnancy is one of the most fascinating and exciting times in life. It can cause a roller coaster of emotions that range from sheer exhilaration to immense fear! If you have ever been unfortunate and had a miscarriage, your next pregnancy can be torturous. Obviously, this depends largely on your outlook in life; however, most women find that pregnancy after loss is very difficult. You are afraid to get excited too soon, you don’t want to share the news with anyone, and you refuse to talk about the baby or look at baby clothes. You are constantly aware of your body and wondering if every little ping and pang is a signal to trouble, all because you don’t want to suffer like you did once before.
Speaking first hand, I can say for sure that being pregnant again after having a miscarriage was frightening. For me, there was little excitement, and I found that I didn’t enjoy the early stages at all. All I wanted was to feel the baby move inside me, to be able to drink orange juice and jostle her into action so that I knew everything was all right. But I was lucky; I had an awesome doctor who gave me some really good advice which is being passed on to you right now.
The first thing she said to me, sensing my concern and fear, was that it was more important to her that I was comfortable than anything else. She believed that the mother’s health affected (emotional and physical) the development of the baby. So, she decided to schedule me visits that were more frequent. She also had me take a simple blood draw every few days to make sure that my HCG was doubling daily and that my progesterone levels were increasing. Often, low progesterone is the cause to early miscarriage. She even offered to put me on progesterone pills which would help the fetus implant nicely in the uterus.
For the first few months, I was able to visit the doctor frequently. She schedule an extra ultrasound or two, just to keep me comfortable so that I could see firsthand that everything was developing okay. She also wrote my pregnancy up as high risk, due to my last miscarriage – so that insurance would provide for these extra visits. When I made my way into the 2nd trimester, I believed that I would be okay. However, still at the back of my mind was a lurking fear that lightning would strike twice. Again, my doctor came to the rescue, offering me the opportunity to have a heart beat monitor at home so I could listen to my baby anytime I wanted. This was a pure Godsend!
What I found, and you will too, is that worrying what everyone else thinks is crazy. I purposely hid my thoughts and fears until my very intuitive doctor picked up on them. And I am glad she did. The truth is that if you have suffered a pregnancy loss, it is only natural to be fearful about another pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with this, and it certainly doesn’t indicate that you have gone mad, are paranoid, or are losing your mind. Instead, embrace this fear and come to terms with it. This way you can find ways, which there are many, to help ease your mind and help you enjoy the pregnancy while you are pregnant. Sure, nothing will ever be 100% certain – but feeling comfortable and learning to relax is an important part of pregnancy.
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