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It's Not My Job; It's Not Your Job - It's Our Job
Author: Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
Bringing a little one into the world is an amazing experience. There are so many emotions from elation to perhaps the "baby blues." On top of that, you may find that you and your significant other are struggling to figure out the new roles and responsibilities that come with being parents.
Just when you thought you had things figured out, here comes another change. There are the simple things like who takes out the trash, or cooks, or pay bills, or schedules the "social calendar." On top of that, now you have a little one that is relying on you and your partner 24/7 for food, safety, and love. It can feel overwhelming, but together you can do this.
Make a plan of action of what needs to be done. This can include everything from the weekly household chores and monthly bill paying, to the daily (hourly) diaper changes. It is important to be honest with your partner. If or when you or your partner returns to your professional jobs, take time to understand what may be possible in a day and what may not.
Once you have a list, talk honestly and openly about these items. Maybe there are things that your partner naturally takes care of, perhaps even enjoys. Decide how each item will be tackled. As you think about your daily and weekly schedule, be realistic about the tasks at hand.
Can you and your spouse do this while keeping your personal and professional lives in balance? If not, use your resources. After all, parenthood is not about being the one that has to do everything for your child. Parenthood is about using your resources (whether time, money, or talent) and ensuring your child is provided the chance to become a happy and healthy individual who can contribute to society. This may mean you need to identify childcare, part-time or full-time. This may mean you consider having a cleaning service support you, even if only once a month.
It is easy for the mother to become the primary caregiver with children. From birth, to breastfeeding, to nurturing, women seem to have the natural "knack." Some refer to this as basic instincts. However, if you are not happy with the responsibilities or are overwhelmed, talk with your partner and make a plan of action to change things. The way things worked in the past or for other women don't have to be the way they work for you and your family.
Every child is unique. Every family is unique. Every situation is unique.
Make life work for you.
It's not about this being your job or your partner's job; it's about being a team to raise a happy, healthy child.
Enjoy the ride.
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