Is it Time to Have “The Talk”?


 You’ve discussed having children “someday” with your partner, but you’re starting to think about “someday soon.” Before you ask, “Do you want to have a baby?” think about and discuss the following questions: 

While there’s never a “perfect” time to have a baby, you should wait for a “good” time.

Is your relationship stable?

You should have a strong, stable relationship before having a baby. Caring for a baby will reduce the amount of time you spend with your partner. If either of you feel insecure or unloved, resolve these issues before having a baby. If you are newly married or have just moved in together, adjust to these changes first. If you bicker or fight frequently, see a relationship counselor before trying to conceive. The stress and sleep deprivation a baby brings can increase the frequency and intensity of these fights. Having a baby stresses a relationship – it never fixes one.

Have we achieved our personal, educational, and career goals?

Your life won’t end when you have a baby, but some goals and dreams are easier to achieve before having children. If you want to travel, go on your dream trip before having a baby. Have you finished your education? You can go back to school after having children, but it may take longer and be harder than expected. Consider your career. Are you ready to take time off for maternity leave? Are you prepared to possibly put career advancement on hold while your children are young? Do you plan to continue working or stay home with your baby?

What do you think?

Is it Time to Have “The Talk”?

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  1. Avatar of mommy nhoj mommy nhoj says:

    When we got married there’s no need to talk. We both knew we will do pur best to procreate soon. Now, we often think about the right timing for next one.

  2. Avatar of LIZ says:

    we were not trying to get pregnant it was a surprise but the most beautiful surprise

  3. Avatar of tangled tangled says:

    We were not ready in any way but we would not have it any other way

  4. Avatar of Jordan Jordan says:

    Can you seriously get pregnant from swallowing semen? Some people say you can and some people say you can’t.

  5. Avatar of JessiLoveday JessiLoveday says:

    I’m unprepared and I’m still happy.

  6. Avatar of Sierra-Dawn Sierra-Dawn says:

    We were not ready in any way but we would not have it any other way

  7. Avatar of sheenaholman sheenaholman says:

    Having another baby as opposed to starting to have a baby is so much easier to talk about.

  8. Avatar of Melody Melody says:

    I want to wait for my first to be potty trained before considering having a second.

  9. Avatar of Grace Grace says:

    i disagree if we waited to be stable, or meet our goals we would not have any children, i’m glad we didn’t wait

  10. Avatar of ErinF ErinF says:

    We started having The Talk several years ago. We really wanted to wait until we were more financially stable, but this year we decided that that wasn’t necessarily going to happen before our age made conception too difficult. We’re both well into our thirties and self-employed; things will be tight, but we’re pretty pragmatic.

  11. Avatar of Julie Julie says:

    I agree with this article! You should be ready before having a child.

  12. Avatar of Jessica Jessica says:

    I was so not ready with my first, now I know better, my other pregnancies have been so much easier