You’ve discussed having children “someday” with your partner, but you’re starting to think about “someday soon.” Before you ask, “Do you want to have a baby?” think about and discuss the following questions:
While there’s never a “perfect” time to have a baby, you should wait for a “good” time.
Is your relationship stable?
You should have a strong, stable relationship before having a baby. Caring for a baby will reduce the amount of time you spend with your partner. If either of you feel insecure or unloved, resolve these issues before having a baby. If you are newly married or have just moved in together, adjust to these changes first. If you bicker or fight frequently, see a relationship counselor before trying to conceive. The stress and sleep deprivation a baby brings can increase the frequency and intensity of these fights. Having a baby stresses a relationship – it never fixes one.
Have we achieved our personal, educational, and career goals?
Your life won’t end when you have a baby, but some goals and dreams are easier to achieve before having children. If you want to travel, go on your dream trip before having a baby. Have you finished your education? You can go back to school after having children, but it may take longer and be harder than expected. Consider your career. Are you ready to take time off for maternity leave? Are you prepared to possibly put career advancement on hold while your children are young? Do you plan to continue working or stay home with your baby?
What do you think? Is it Time to Have “The Talk”?