How to Get Your Sex Drive Back

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So, you have had a baby. For many women, this means that the sheer thought of sex or intimacy gives them the creeps. Even if you had an active and pleasurable sex life before pregnancy and childbirth, many things change afterwards.

Many men change their views on sexuality once they actually see a baby born, and this is normal.

Your hormones are wacky (to say the least), your body has changed, you might be breastfeeding, and chances are you are also very, very tired much of the time. Not to mention the fact that many women become mothers and suddenly feel awkward dressing up in their French Maid costumes, just to spice things up in the bedroom. The transition to motherhood definitely can take a toll on your sex drive and sex life. Unfortunately, many men don’t understand this – but there are things you can do to rev up your sex drive again.

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First, give yourself a little time. If you are recovering from childbirth, you may not be up for sex just yet. Talk to your doctor and make sure to wait the recommended length of time.

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Secondly, realize that many men change their views on sexuality once they actually see a baby born, and this is normal. Try to talk about the experience together. A few jokes here and there can definitely lighten the mood and erase some of the graphics. Realize that if you are breastfeeding, hormonal changes naturally reduce your sex drive. You may find that once you stop breastfeeding and regain a normal menstrual cycle, your sex drive will return to normal too.

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MORE:  Sex After Baby: The REAL Reasons Your Partner’s Sexual Desires Changed }

What many people fail to realize is that resentment and anger can be huge factors for a reduced sex drive. If you are taking care of the baby most of the time, staying home on maternity leave (or you became a stay-at-home mom), and you feel that your partner is not stepping up to the plate, so to speak, you are going to feel resentful. This resentment will spill into the relationship and not make you feel like having sex at all. 

What do you think?

How to Get Your Sex Drive Back

Tell us what you think!

76 comments

  1. Profile photo of Kay Leinen Kay Leinen says:

    The things mentioned in this article don’t always apply. None of these things have described my situation, which is more of a "whatever" approach to sex. What helps me is remembering what made my husband attractive to me in the first place. Hope this gave you a little insight.

  2. Profile photo of Jeanra Jeanra says:

    Not sexually attracted to my husband anymore 🙁

  3. Profile photo of Kadion Kadion says:

    My boyfriend has been so understanding however I know we need to make some time its been months since we have been intimate. Thank God he is patient. I need to learn to not sleep in the baby’s room but go back into our bed and trust that I will hear the baby monitor if need be.

  4. Profile photo of Kadion Kadion says:

    Wow that is just awful maybe that is why your sex drive hasn’t kicked back in there was trust issues.

  5. Profile photo of Lily Lily says:

    I JUST WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT MY WEIGHTS. TODAY I FELT SO BAD. I LEFT MY HOME, LEAVING MY HUSBAND AND BABY ALONE. I FOUND A GOOD CLUB IN MY COMMUNITY. I WILL RECEIVE SOME POSTPREGNANCY TREATMENT THERE TONIGHT. I THINK IT WILL BE A GOOD START.

  6. Profile photo of Foxin3ss Foxin3ss says:

    I didn’t really get the best tips from this article…

  7. Profile photo of Mommiof2 Mommiof2 says:

    i think my sex drive got higher when i had my second child. his too. idk what happen.

  8. Profile photo of Kenzie Kenzie says:

    I’m so sorry, thats awful

  9. Profile photo of Jessica Jessica says:

    My sex drive has gone through the roof however my daughter’s father has been with many other females and I no longer want anything to do with him

  10. Profile photo of marichinno marichinno says:

    When the kids were smaller it was hard do to their needs and now that they are a little older its a bit easier but with pregnancy I have a feeling that we will have a hard times.

  11. Profile photo of Evangelita Evangelita says:

    My sex drive has gone crazy while my husbands has ran away lol

  12. Profile photo of sukismom sukismom says:

    I am so glad we can find time when we are both home during some days 😀 It’s a lifesaver lol It’s been 8 months since giving birth and I still haven’t had the guts to dress up, I’m just glad that I am now fully enjoying getting undressed 😛

  13. Profile photo of JOELYN JOELYN says:

    its always good to talk about things and have open communication, finding time even if its for a really quick moment can make you feel closer together.a hug or a sweet kiss can go a long way if you dont have time that second to be intimate…we sneak away sometimes here and there in the house while the kids nap or at night while they are sleeping..dress up, spice things up however or whatever works for you as a couple and have your "special moments" 🙂

  14. Profile photo of MLS MLS says:

    Maybe I should try that.

  15. Profile photo of brittney brittney says:

    we dress up and do lap dances, its so fun and spices things up when our son is in bed for the night!

  16. Profile photo of mommy2twins mommy2twins says:

    if it wasnt for the sex i would have lost my mind a long time ago, trying to make time for it can be hard and at night your so tired that you want to sleep. for yourself try to do whatever you can to have that in your life. i think it saved my relationship and helped build a bigger bond.

  17. Profile photo of holly holly says:

    its been 5 years and its no better

  18. Profile photo of mida mida says:

    its so true there is just no time for sex, I never thought this will change, but we try to have sex onece a week

  19. Profile photo of AshleeGarven AshleeGarven says:

    I am too…but my partner keeps insisting that we need to do it….they just don’t understand what our bodies go through …

  20. Profile photo of Anna Jones Anna Jones says:

    I’m just so tired!

  21. Profile photo of HorrorQueen HorrorQueen says:

    I totally know the feeling! I husbond works anywhere from 12 to 16hrs a day, its hard to not want to just let him relax!

  22. Profile photo of Colleen Colleen says:

    Our biggest issue is never having the time.. my baby works so hard and is always exhausted in the evening!

  23. Profile photo of Cristi Cristi says:

    Time goes by so fast me and my hubby just can’t find the time.

  24. Profile photo of Drake's Drake's says:

    I have to say this is one of the hardest things for my husband and I – we just don’t seem to have the time to make love anymore. By the time the baby is asleep we are too tired ourselves and just go to bed…..we started trying to have a date night once a month just to keep some romance in the mix and it has helped, love the suggestions in this article 🙂

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