How to Get Your Sex Drive Back

by

Tags: ,

woman

So, you have had a baby. For many women, this means that the sheer thought of sex or intimacy gives them the creeps. Even if you had an active and pleasurable sex life before pregnancy and childbirth, many things change afterwards.

Many men change their views on sexuality once they actually see a baby born, and this is normal.

Your hormones are wacky (to say the least), your body has changed, you might be breastfeeding, and chances are you are also very, very tired much of the time. Not to mention the fact that many women become mothers and suddenly feel awkward dressing up in their French Maid costumes, just to spice things up in the bedroom. The transition to motherhood definitely can take a toll on your sex drive and sex life. Unfortunately, many men don’t understand this – but there are things you can do to rev up your sex drive again.

First, give yourself a little time. If you are recovering from childbirth, you may not be up for sex just yet. Talk to your doctor and make sure to wait the recommended length of time.

Secondly, realize that many men change their views on sexuality once they actually see a baby born, and this is normal. Try to talk about the experience together. A few jokes here and there can definitely lighten the mood and erase some of the graphics. Realize that if you are breastfeeding, hormonal changes naturally reduce your sex drive. You may find that once you stop breastfeeding and regain a normal menstrual cycle, your sex drive will return to normal too.

MORE:  Sex After Baby: The REAL Reasons Your Partner’s Sexual Desires Changed }

What many people fail to realize is that resentment and anger can be huge factors for a reduced sex drive. If you are taking care of the baby most of the time, staying home on maternity leave (or you became a stay-at-home mom), and you feel that your partner is not stepping up to the plate, so to speak, you are going to feel resentful. This resentment will spill into the relationship and not make you feel like having sex at all. 

What do you think? How to Get Your Sex Drive Back

More to learn more to love
Everyday extras

Tell us what you think!

75 comments

  1. Avatar of shelia shelia says:

    After our first two kids my sex drive was great, but when I had my last baby it went down.

  2. Avatar of Kylie Kylie says:

    no my oldest is 6…. and my youngest two are 18 months and 7 weeks…. and im 25, but my partner and i have a very open relationship were not afraid to talk to one another about any thing….. and truthfully thats the key….. after my daughter we hardly ever were intimate we were so wrapped up in a new born but we sat down and kind of made out a game plan so every other weekend when I was off my mom or his would take our son and daughter so we could have alone time and true alone time not the 10 min. shower or the mountain car drive….. sometimes we didnt do anything but hold one another then other times………. but now I have another new born but were back to the same game plan!

  3. Avatar of joanna joanna says:

    ive notice that now that I have 4 kids at the age of 25 things really change…especially when ur breastfeeding n have 3 toddlers at the age of 1,2 &3..but im not the only person that is going threw something similar

  4. Avatar of Sandra Sandra says:

    happy i am not the only one!

  5. Avatar of Timothy Timothy says:

    did someone say SEX ?

  6. Avatar of Belkys Belkys says:

    I have my wound open steel after 4 weeks so no thinking of that intel I am healed

  7. Avatar of alicia alicia says:

    i feel like i had no sex drive even before the first kid. im hoping to build one after this second one.

  8. Avatar of Marilyn Marilyn says:

    Things went sour for a long time after our first. This time it will be different. We both know what happened and will makes sure to keep each others feelings in mind. :-)

  9. Avatar of cassyg143 cassyg143 says:

    nice to know im not the only one or that it is somewhat normal

  10. Avatar of Juat Juat says:

    My story with began, I loved my my boyfriend so much but he never loved me rather he traveled with another girl to unknown destination, I was all over the internet trying to find who could help me out with my situation but no results at all or little signs, I have to admit I was about to give up on him, then one day I was making a search onaGoogle i found Gracerelationshipspell@gmail.com in the internet where he had helped many girls who hadthe same issue with me, when i contacted him he said he will help me and just as he said after But 3 days after the the spell was done, I received an email from my boyfriend and that’s when things really changed he stopped his bad habit, We came back together and I was astounded because so many say they are the best but can’t back it. but priest grace really surprised me with his spell, i want to testify today about the seriousness of priest grace
    blessing, England

  11. Avatar of Brenda Brenda says:

    I never lost my sex drive after my daughter came! But there is times when i dont have energy.

  12. Avatar of Kate Kate says:

    I guess it’s nice to read that I’m not the only one who has some of these feelings. It was very informative for certain things.

  13. Avatar of Tara Tara says:

    this has really opened my eyes..after my first one it took forever it seemed to get back into, probably because I was so stressed and exhausted….this time around I am hoping it will be different…not afraid to ask for help this time to help relieve stress

  14. Avatar of yonna yonna says:

    I am trying to regain mine due to me having postpartum depression with my last child.

  15. Avatar of Deanna Deanna says:

    this article helped a lot!!

  16. Avatar of Heatherly Heatherly says:

    Good article! It is a little intimidating the first time after having a baby, with a lot of sensitive areas! But it does get easier and better after the first couple of times!

  17. Avatar of Jessie Jessie says:

    wow… I breast feed, and I was doing other things for him less than a week after I had our son, and we were having sex before the full 6 weeks was up. lol. Then again, we’ve never really been able to keep our hands off each other! ;)

  18. Avatar of Aiden Aiden says:

    Wondering how I will feel after ma boo thang comes

  19. Avatar of acampbell acampbell says:

    This article is great to keep my mind in the right places at the right time! I want to take care of my family and my husband in all areas!

  20. Avatar of katherine katherine says:

    I still enjoy having making love with my husban n our sob is 14 weeks old!

  21. Avatar of MissTK MissTK says:

    I am going to try my hardest to always make time for my S/O. I already thing of only baby. I can already see me only making time for her after she is born. So hopefully If i have this thought set forward in my mind ahead of time.. I can save us this struggle.

  22. Avatar of Elyse Rose Elyse Rose says:

    The biggest thing that my husband and I learned after our first child was just to communicate. We constantly do things to work on it. Our problem was that we had big stresses in our life and it was the little things that caused us to explode. Dirty socks on the floor, dishes in the sink, clothes not folded, or dog hair on the couch. Also, our little pet peeves with each other were an issue. Now we work on just blurting it out when it bugs us so we don’t harbor the little things. Works like a charm!

  23. Avatar of sheenaholman sheenaholman says:

    It helps to talk through your insecurities with your partner.

Track your
baby's development

Enter your due date or baby's birth date

Poll Question:

How old was your child when they attended their first extracurricular activity?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

View Comments

EverydayFamily Daily Sweepstakes
server ip: 10.178.133.177