I havent reached this point yet but i've heard from many moms that if they tried to engage the toddler to help with the baby it would help a lot.  For my nephew he would help change diapers and help give baths and he refered to his brother as "my baby" it gave him a sense of responsibility that all young children crave. 

I heard one mom whos child wanted to nurse after seeing her nurse a baby so she picked her up and made it into a sort of game she rocked her quickly and said shhh baby shhh and the toddler laughed and then forgot about it.

I hope that helps!  PLanning for my second one soon (my current is 11 mo)! 

We have 2 boys that are 16 months apart (they are 3 and 4) and another on the way... We tried the whole our baby and your baby too with our oldest after our second was born and it back fired in our face... Since our 4 year old was old enough to help out around the house (about 2) he has tried to take charge of our second son... He bosses him around like he is the Dad.. When I try to talk to him about it, he says that he is his and he can tell him what to do... Need less to say, with our third on the way, we have been stressing that the baby is our baby but their brother! We also have to remind them that the baby will be sleeping and crying a lot and won't be able to play the way they do.... They thought that he would come out and want to play with them! The other thing I never gave a second thought about till now was breastfeeding around the boys... We have problems with them liking "mommy pillows" (breasts)... They always want to touch and lay on them. I was trying to explain how the baby will eat and that they need to be very carefull around my "mommy pillows"... That didn't go so well lol My youngest looked horrified and the more I tried to clear it up the worse it got! I even tried telling them that was how they ate when they were babies too and it just got worse! lol Our oldest was young enough to not have a clue when our second was born, this time they understand things way better... It will be interesting and sometimes, I'm learning, the less you say and the more they ask the better... No need in trying to explain something unless they want to know... And for an added laugh, they both think that I'm going to pop like a balloon when the baby is ready and I'm not going to tell them any different! I told them that it kinda works like that but that I will be ok and they didn't have to worry. I hope this helps some plus give you a little laugh!

About four months ago, I had to introduce my 13 month old to his new baby brother. I wasn't sure how to go about it but I knew in my gut that introducing them as soon as possible was important. If you get the chance, do that. I think it helped. B would push his little brother to and from the nursery while I was in the hospital and they'd come to visit. He tried to regress, back to bottle and pacifier (he obviously wasn't old enough to potty train). When he'd turn up with a bottle or pacifier, I'd thank him so very much for finding his little brothers things and told him what a big help he was to mommy. I even let him feed his little brother (with mommys guiding hand of course). I also made sure, after every feeding, to give B some special time with mommy. Eventually, he realized having a little brother wasn't a bad thing and started trying to get him to get up and play with him. Of course that wasn't going to happen, so I'd play with him. Now he is the protector of "his baby". When people other than mommy and daddy get too close to baby brother, he throws a fit and pushes them away. It's actually kind of funny. He is more of a help now than I thought he would be. He brings me clean diapers and wipes when I change, brings the bottle if he thinks J is hungry, tries to put the pacifier in his mouth if he's fussy and is constantly giving his little brother hugs and kisses. It's actually pretty adorable to watch.