I see your point, but there is also a lot of other things to take into consideration. Like how old is your step daughter? What would happen if she were to lose her mother as well? No matter what, he is just as much her father as your new baby. For your will, you should both have separate ones anyway, because it is more likely something happens to one of you than both. G-d forbid, what it something happened to your husband? Would his daughter be entitled to less than your baby? Both still have their mothers, so it would only be right to be fair to both children. Plus, a will is more inheritance, dividing up your estate- finances, possessions, property, etc. to who you feel would need/appreciate most, or to whom it has the most value. As far as care after death, that is what life insurance is for. Your husband is still responsible for a portion of his daughter's care, regardless, and not having that could have negitave consequences. The best thing to do is for your husband to name his two children equally on his life insurance, and obviously you as well. You on the other hand name your husband and your son, you don't have to name step daughter of you don't want to, if something happened to you, she would have both parents. If you WANT to lave her something, something which has meaning between the two of you, leave it in your will. Basically, you need to have separate wills and life insurance policies, it's silly not to, you can't guarantee something will happen together! Your husband should, as a father, name his two children equally in his life insurance, while you name your son. That way, if something happened to only one of you, you and your children would be fine, if something happened to both of you, your step daughter will have gotten what is fair, half of her FATHER'S policy. Your son will have gotten half of his fathers policy and yours. If you wanted to add a little something for her then fine, but use your will for your wishes. Done this way, if something were to happen to both of you, she will have an equal share from her father, your son from both parents. It works out equally. So if something happens to her mother, she would claim her mother's policy. But your husband needs to keep it fair!!! I have A LOT of experience, I have 3 step kids, he is step father to my daughter from previous marriage, we have a daughter and a baby on the way. It gets confusing, but it needs to stay fair. My will includes all of my step kids, but my life insurance is only my and our mutual children. His covers his 3 plus our 2, and his will includes certain things and a certain monetary amount for my oldest daughter.