Here is my opinion... I too am a stay at home mom, my child's father works at a bar, so he works nights, and he doesn't get home till really late at night/early morning. However, he always makes time at least 2 hrs to play with our daughter. It is important for my daughter and for my sanity that they spend as much time as they can together. She is always missing her daddy, so when it is time to play or go outside she is more than ready to have her daddy daughter time.

What I might suggest to you is, make an appointment to get your hair/nails/toes done, and that way, the dad will have to take some time out of his gaming career to play with your child. And you get some much needed time to yourself. I hope this helps.

In Response to Dad's responsibilities with baby and stay-at-home mom.:

I am wondering what everyone's opinions are about Dad's responsibilities when it comes to baby care. I am a stay-at-home mom and we agreed that since I could stay at home with my baby, and because I am the mother that I would care for the baby 100%. I change all diapers, give all baths, play with him and teach him feed him always. He will occasionally play with him and he does interact with him. He taught our baby to give him hugs.

But what bugs me is that he thinks he has the right to come home after work and go straight to his computer to play games. We don't spend much time together unless I play with the baby in the game room or I am watching a movie. We are not sociable people, so we don't have many friends to do stuff with. I just feel like my entire day is filled with the baby and chores. Am I at all right in feeling this way?

Posted by Rose

I think it is absolutely it is ok for you to think and feel that way. In my home the roles are reversed, my "partner" is the stay at home father and I am the working mother. He also says the same thing about me..except it's not on the computer it's wanting to sleep..I work 50-60 hours/wk. and am absolutely exhausted when I get home however; he thinks when I walk thorugh the door his "daddy duty" is done and it is my turn..yes he is right however; his "daddy duties" do not end. Our daughter is 3 years old and our son is 8 months old. It is hard on my partner because he is 45, started over with a new family again... and has major health issues where as I am 29, able to work (and do), and have minimul health issues. I definately have to say in the end that I would not be able to do it without him and he is definately my rock.

I'm a stay at home  mom too, Moms usaly have most of the responsibillities wen it comes to children,I fill that Dads do need to spin time with the children too,I also think you should go out once in a why'll higher a setter go on a nice date,keep your relashinship with your husben a live. 

In Response to Dad's responsibilities with baby and stay-at-home mom.:

I am wondering what everyone's opinions are about Dad's responsibilities when it comes to baby care. I am a stay-at-home mom and we agreed that since I could stay at home with my baby, and because I am the mother that I would care for the baby 100%. I change all diapers, give all baths, play with him and teach him feed him always. He will occasionally play with him and he does interact with him. He taught our baby to give him hugs.

But what bugs me is that he thinks he has the right to come home after work and go straight to his computer to play games. We don't spend much time together unless I play with the baby in the game room or I am watching a movie. We are not sociable people, so we don't have many friends to do stuff with. I just feel like my entire day is filled with the baby and chores. Am I at all right in feeling this way?

Posted by Rose

In Response to Dad's responsibilities with baby and stay-at-home mom.:

I am wondering what everyone's opinions are about Dad's responsibilities when it comes to baby care. I am a stay-at-home mom and we agreed that since I could stay at home with my baby, and because I am the mother that I would care for the baby 100%. I change all diapers, give all baths, play with him and teach him feed him always. He will occasionally play with him and he does interact with him. He taught our baby to give him hugs.

But what bugs me is that he thinks he has the right to come home after work and go straight to his computer to play games. We don't spend much time together unless I play with the baby in the game room or I am watching a movie. We are not sociable people, so we don't have many friends to do stuff with. I just feel like my entire day is filled with the baby and chores. Am I at all right in feeling this way?

Posted by Rose

I THINK YOUR RIGHT BY FEELING THE WAY YOU DO. IM ALSO A STAY AT HOME MOM. I FEED BATHE CHANGE PLAY TEACH AND PUT OUR LITTLE BOY TO BED EVERYDAY AND GET UP WITH HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HE HASNT CHANGED A DIAPER SINCE HE WAS A FEW DAYS OLD AND HES NOW 8MNTHS. HE COMES HOME  EATS PLAYS ON HIS PHONE AND ON THE LAPTOP SHOWERS AND GOES TO SLEEP AND ONLY SPENDS ABOUT 15-20 MINUTES PLAYING OR HOLDING THE BABY. ITS HARD AND CAN BE STRESSFUL. AND THERE ARE TIMES WHERE I JUST WANT 5MINUTES TO MYSLEF AND HE FEELS LIKE HE WORKS ALL DAY SO HE SHLDNT HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER AT HOME. MAYBE TALKING TO HIM WILL HELP YOU ALITTLE.  ITS GOOD TO KNOW IM NOT ALONE AND IM NOT OVER REACTING =)

In Response to Dad's responsibilities with baby and stay-at-home mom.:

 i became a stay at hom mom with my second child and i feel the same way.  You can't teach a man how to interact with his kids he has to come to he realization himself.  He is only hurting himself and wasting time not spnding it with the child

 

I'm a stay at home mom too with a 9 y/o and one due any day now and even though my husband works all day outside he still comes home and plays with our son even if it just a video game or they sit and talk. He says he can't wait for Luke(the baby) to get here. Just like when our other son was little he took turns feeding him at night,changed diapers and loved their bath time together. Your husband need to step up and help because he is missing out on his childs life.Saying he is too tired is a bad excuse.Weather my husband has worked a 16 hour day or only a 10 hour day he makes time for the family. Neither me or my husband believe that child care should just be the mother's job even if she is a stay at home. The child needs two parents and seeing their dad be so distant will have a bad impact on the way he interacts with you and everyone else.

In Response to Dad's responsibilities with baby and stay-at-home mom.:

I am wondering what everyone's opinions are about Dad's responsibilities when it comes to baby care. I am a stay-at-home mom and we agreed that since I could stay at home with my baby, and because I am the mother that I would care for the baby 100%. I change all diapers, give all baths, play with him and teach him feed him always. He will occasionally play with him and he does interact with him. He taught our baby to give him hugs.

But what bugs me is that he thinks he has the right to come home after work and go straight to his computer to play games. We don't spend much time together unless I play with the baby in the game room or I am watching a movie. We are not sociable people, so we don't have many friends to do stuff with. I just feel like my entire day is filled with the baby and chores. Am I at all right in feeling this way?

Posted by Rose

I have been feeling this way a lot lately as well. We have four children and he thinks that because he goes to work and pays the bills that there is nothing that he has to do at home but relax. We also are not very social people and live out in the middle of nowhere.

I just recently decided to go back to work as we need the extra income. Now I feel that I have to do all of the stuff I have normally done plus my job. I am not sure how to talk to my husband about this as he is one who thinks that everytime I tell him how I feel about something I am attacking him.

It sucks that people are going through this, but I am happy to know that I am not the only one.

I'm sorry that a lot of you wonderful moms are feeling overworked and unappreciated. I have been married 7 years to a Marine. He is a manly man who likes to hunt, fish, shoot his rifles & his bow, etc etc. I am the stay at home spouse who tends to the children. I will not however be thought of as a live in babysitter. My husband knows not to ever say "go out and get your hair done, I will babysit". I'm sorry but you just don't babysit your own children. There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with the man or spouse taking responsibility for their child. I don't hand the kids off to my husband, but for darn sure if I'm cooking or cleaning and the baby needs a diaper change or to be fed my husband better step up to the plate and help. I didn't get married and start a family with someone to just live separate lives and me do all the child raising myself. Now if he has had a super stressful day I try and be considerate, but I to have stressful days and need a break. I didn't climb on top of myself and get myself pregnant. Everybody deserves to have a partner that will be there for them and help them out in any way possible. I love my husband to death and would do anything for him, but I do expect the same in return. I never get a break unless it is from him. As I stated he is a Marine. I have no family that lives near by to babysit or to give me a break so I completly understand how exhausted you wonderful stay at home parents are. I'm just glad my husband understands how I feel and he helps me out as much as he can. One thing I love about his need to share responsibilities is if he goes and shoots his bow on a Saturday he will get up with the kids on Sunday, cook and clean the house and do whatever laundry that is dirty. I don't even have to ask. I wish every spouse was this considerate. Also sometimes if he treats himself with going out with his buddies he always he will either request I do the same with my girlfriends or he will dedicate a certain amount of time to me and the kids and do something with us as a family no matter how corny he thinks it is. My point is that we both decided to have a family, therefor it should be team parenting.