Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

close happy coupleYou’ve been together for what seems like forever. You now have this wonderful little person in your life. Perhaps your lives are busier than ever before. Everything may be wonderful, but there may be a little something missing – “the flame.”

Remember those days when you couldn’t keep your eyes and hands off of each other? They may have been those early days in the relationship when everything was new. Just because there is not that level of intimacy does not mean that the love isn’t there. In fact, it probably runs deeper than ever. The challenge is taking time for a little romance. Sometimes romance is an easy thing to let go, forgetting about making time for each other.

I often refer to this love as “old shoe love.” It’s wonderful in that it is comfortable. It fits just like it should. Yes, it sometimes needs to be cleaned up, to feel new again. But how?

Just like everything else of importance in your life, romance needs to be “on the radar screen.” It must be put on the “to-do list.” Sounds romantic, right? It’s not as bad as it sounds.


Start by taking little steps. Talk with your partner about the importance romance has to both of you, about the importance to connect and re-connect. It may sound silly, and it very well might be a silly conversation, but it is important to discuss how each of you feels and about what each of you needs.

Work to show and receive affection. It is as simple as the smooch good-bye before one departs, or for no reason at all. It’s holding hands, when you can. You may find that you simply feel more romance, more connection, through basic physical contact.


Put it on the schedule. Just like getting the chores done and tasks such as making the doctor appointment, you must schedule time to be together. It doesn’t have to cost money or take more time in the day. You may need to think creatively. Romance comes from a few lit candles or from borrowing a movie from the local library. Snuggle up with a favorite treat and you have a homemade recipe for romance soon after you have put your children to bed for the evening. If you are not a night owl, consider a special lunch during naptime or even sipping a cup of java together in the early morning hours. However and whenever, make time to connect.

Take care of yourself and each other. One of the challenges we face is to continue to feel good about ourselves and also of each other. We all grow older, our bodies change, and we change. Through these changes, it is important to make the time to feel the best we can. This is mainly accomplished through diet and exercise.


Finally, be flexible, be spontaneous, and have a good sense of humor. Even with the best of romantic intentions, a young child in the house may derail plans. However, you are assured success, and a little romance, if you keep trying.

What do you think?

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

Tell us what you think!


  1. Profile photo of JamJam JamJam says:

    i need to take these tips

  2. Profile photo of MilkyMooMoo MilkyMooMoo says:

    Our baby is 3 weeks now and I was so…star struck with how amazing my boyfriend was when it was the final week of my pregnancy. Now something is a little different. It is deffinitely difficult to keep that spark. But talking is the best key, I wrote him a little message telling him how I felt and he realized what was happening. It sneaks up on you so make sure you talk to your partner…I can’t stress enough how crucial it is. Good luck to everyone. I loved this article.

  3. Profile photo of MilkyMooMoo MilkyMooMoo says:

    My boyfriend and I say this all the time. How can we make our kids happy if we ourselves are not. So we work hard to keep our relationship the best it can be and be happy with each other. I loved your post "KWRAY" well said.

  4. Profile photo of NikkiHargett NikkiHargett says:

    I am thankful for the endurance my relationship has. Pregnancy has infact played a role in changing the dynamics of my relationship with my husband, but little by little we are getting back on track

  5. Profile photo of Meagan Kitta Meagan Kitta says:

    I guess things change between being wildly romantic and growing up to have a long-lasting relationship. may not be like it was but at least it lasts

  6. Profile photo of ornella ornella says:

    My bf loves my pregnant body lol cant keep him off of me!! Don’t see us changing after baby #3 lol

  7. Profile photo of Foxin3ss Foxin3ss says:

    Never really thought about this…
    Great article, a little scared now though lol.

  8. Profile photo of Jessica Jessica says:

    Thanks for this article, I agree with the previous poster.

  9. Profile photo of KWRAY KWRAY says:

    I love artiles like this. They are so important. The key to having happy, healthy kids is a happy, healthy relationship with your partner. Our children are the most important thing in OUR lives but he is the most important thing in MY life. Neglecting our husband and using the kids as an excuse is unhealthy.

  10. Profile photo of marichinno marichinno says:

    I like this article and it will come in handy after the baby is born. What is going to make things difficult is the baby will be born during the holidays and that can be a stress of it’s own.

  11. Hang in there Holly. You actually sound like me. I was beginning to have some low self-esteem and I was making myself feel unattractive which is a turn off to men. I started exercising, which believe me, I have a newborn and a 3 year old, plus I work full time at a doctor’s office, so I literally have no time to exercise. I’ve been getting up at 5 in the morning and just running. It allows me to think and just feel free from stress, not to mention I actually have more confidence because of the baby weight I lost. I was still carrying the baby weight from my 3 year old. Good luck, if anything, start making YOURSELF feel better and happier first and your husband will find that attractive in itself.

  12. Profile photo of MLS MLS says:

    My husband loved me while I was pregnant it seemed the bigger I got the sexier I was in his eyes.

  13. Profile photo of Mrs.Ochoa Mrs.Ochoa says:

    Since he found out i was pregnant he cant keep his hands off me, i feel really good about being pregnant.

  14. Profile photo of holly holly says:

    well its been an issue for us. hes not attracted to me as much since we had arlyne and she is 5

  15. Profile photo of mida mida says:


  16. Profile photo of Colleen Colleen says:

    This hasnt been an issue for us jes gettin the time!!

  17. Profile photo of Mary Mullard Mary Mullard says:

    hope things dont get to bad

  18. Profile photo of Rosie2day Rosie2day says:

    Will have to remember this