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Connecting with Your Partner
Author: Heather Slee
Sometimes when you’re pregnant, life becomes all about you and the baby. And that’s certainly okay! There are a million things to plan, worry about, and be excited about. In the midst of all this craziness, however, remember that taking care of your relationship should also be on the priority list. Here are a few ideas to help you keep connected with your partner when busy with pregnancy and impending parenthood.
Date night: Yes, it sounds cliché, and maybe you are one of those people who thought you’d never have to resort to scheduling time to have a date with your partner. But sometimes time gets away from us, and we need to put something on the calendar to ensure we stick with it. If you can’t commit to once a week, try twice a month. Go out to eat, catch a movie, see a play—just be together, no interruptions.
Inclusion with baby stuff: Many times partners feel a little left out when it comes to the baby. They aren’t privy to everything changing about your body and the fetus. Try to include them by sharing what you’re feeling. Invite your partner to doctor appointments. Go shopping together for nursery needs. Put your partner in charge of a few things—things they can do all alone. Maybe it’s decorating the baby’s room or building the crib. They could pick out a coming-home outfit or research pediatricians. Remind your partner that you are indeed partners.
Things-to-look-forward-to list: This one may seem a little goofy, but bear with me. My husband and I were excited to be parents, don’t get me wrong. But I also knew that he was nervous about how our life would change. I was too, but he felt a little less in the loop than me. We started a things-to-look-forward-to list and posted it on the fridge. We’d randomly throw things out anytime during the day or night and then put them on the list. “Halloween costumes! Shopping for school supplies!” It was a fun way to do something together that would remind us that the whole thing isn’t terrifying, and we both learned things about one another. For example, I had no idea that Ryan was so excited about introducing certain of his favorite childhood books to Norah. It was great fun.
Finally, the best way to stay connected with your partner is to keep the lines of communication open. Don’t keep your fear and worries to yourself. You’ll find that your partner probably has many of the same fears as you. And you don’t have to keep every conversation focused on the pregnancy, either! A regular, pre-pregnancy conversation is sometimes just what your relationship needs.
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