What To Really Expect When You’re Expecting
Saturday, September 21st, 2013
Every pregnant woman has heard of the infamous “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” books, right?
Well, to be completely honest with you, I have never actually read any of those books, even though I’ve been pregnant three times…
But I can tell you one thing for sure. And that’s that if I were to write my own book on pregnancy, it read a little more like something that would tell you what to really expect when you’re expecting…
Congrats! You are now officially preggers! Except your doctor will now attempt to confuse you with all sorts of dates that seem a bit like magic trickery because you got pregnant at two weeks into your cycle, but didn’t find out until two weeks later, but there is always a two-week window for error, and some women’s cycles are all screwy, which means by the time you typically find out you are pregnant, you are a whole month pregnant, except your baby is only technically two weeks gestational age. So congrats! You’re a month pregnant! They think. Maybe. Well, most likely anyways. So enjoy a whole pregnancy during which you’re confused on how far you are actually pregnant, yay!
Do you like mashed potatoes? Well, you should! They are the perfect food to eat when you will face the horrific no man’s land of feeling nauseous if you don’t eat, but puking every time you eat. It’s a sad day when you start planning what to eat so you can puke it up later. Morning sickness is fun, right?
“Is that so-and-so? Wow, did she get fat or is she pregnant?” Ahh, month three. That magical time of pregnancy when people can’t tell if you’re actually pregnant or just quite fond of donuts.
Well, you’re into your second trimester of pregnancy by now and if you haven’t already announced your pregnancy, it’s probably time to do so. Unfortunately, in today’s world of wittiness and social media, you best have something incredibly cute planned to announce that baby or you’re just another lost pregnancy announcement post, my friend.