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One Step Forward...Two Steps Back
Thursday, October 14, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
If you're like me, watching your child master new skills are some of the best moments of parenthood. There's something magical about seeing them grow and develop.
Favorite moments: seeing your infant's first smiles (as a direct result of YOUR interactions), the first time your baby grasps an object purposefully, the moment your child sits on their own, pulls up for the first time, stands independently, takes their first steps. The list goes on. These physical skills seem to develop naturally as your baby grows in strength and confidence.
What about learned behaviors? In other words, those skills you work on teaching your child. There's the assistance you provide in helping them hold a spoon (and navigate to their mouth
), learning to use a toothbrush, using words and language in proper context, and - of course, to use the potty.
All is good in the world when there is progress and growth. All is good when you see your child continue to learn and grow in positive ways.
So, what is one to do when you see a regression in skills that you thought were mastered or nearly mastered?
The first thing to do is "Don't Panic
." I know, easier said than done.
When it comes to skill development, sometimes, it really is one step forward, two steps back. This is especially true of skills that are learned behaviors (i.e. potty training) vs. acquired physical skills (i.e. the ability to walk).
When it comes to regression in a physical skill, that IS something to pay close attention to. Is your child stopping a behavior due to a fear? Have they moved on to obtaining a new skill? Is the skill still there or do you see that they are no longer using it? If a physical skill such as walking or other movement suddenly stops, there may be good cause to check in with your pediatrican, just to ensure that your child is developing typically.
When it comes to regression in a learned behavior such a potty training, sometimes the answer to "why" is much more complicated. Sometimes, responsibilities such as toileting are stressful for young children. Regression may be a way of your child saying he/she is feeling overwhelmed or is even trying to take control of the situation. Regression may also be an outcome of schedule or environmental changes (i.e. enrollment into childcare or other organized playgroup program). In these cases, it is sometimes wise to take a step back, think, and try a different direction. It's important to try to identify the source(s) that may be impacting your child's behaviors. Can these be changed? If so, how? If not, how can you work with your child to work through any barriers they may have in succeeding. You may have to think creatively. Consider what motivates your chid.
Sometimes development takes a perfect path. Other times, it seems it is one step forward, two steps back.
What kind of walk is your child's skill development taking these days?
