Nikki Reed Says Having Children Too Soon is a Mistake

Saturday, June 16th, 2012 by from Celebrities, Stilettos, & Sippy Cups

nikki reed

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Nikki Reed may not be a name that most people recognize, but the Twilight actress gained some popularity after marrying American Idol contestant, Paul McDonald. Reed and McDonald were married last year and shortly after she was asked about children. She said, “Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like it’s a mistake for people to get married and then just [have kids right away].” She went on to say, “I feel like it is the pressure of the family making them do it. We want to travel and be able to fly on an airplane without a baby and just have freedom.” After her comments she got a lot of flak, but recently she was interviewed again about the statement and stood by her previous comments.

I think this is the case of a young person (she is 24) being uninformed about what parenthood is really like. Is it hard? Absolutely. Does it change your life? Sure. But that does not make having children a mistake. I know plenty of friends who had children shortly after marriage and I am sure they don’t think it is a mistake. I myself had kids only three years into my marriage, though I got pregnant less than a year after we were married, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. However, I also grew up Mormon, which meant starting a family was a priority nailed into our heads over and over. Though I am no longer a practicing member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I do still agree with the importance placed on a family. If we would have had a successful pregnancy the first time, or the five times after that, I would have been making a mistake in Nikki Reed’s eyes. While I respect her opinion, it is fun to have alone time with your new spouse, I resent her saying it was a mistake. A different path, yes but to call any child a mistake I feel is disingenuous and a sign of immaturity.

Do you agree with Nikki Reed? Do you think having kids shortly after marrying is a mistake?

What do you think? Nikki Reed Says Having Children Too Soon is a Mistake

Heather MontgomeryAuthor

Heather Montgomery is a freelance writer with a background in Elementary Education and an almost embarrassing need to read celebrity gossip. As a work-at-home mom to three children, she enjoys spending time with her family and friends. She was married in 2003 and currently resides in Florida. ... More

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21 comments

  1. Avatar of Brittney Brittney says:

    I’m 20 yo and not married, i have a beautiful 4 month old boy and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. To each her own i guess.. but calling having a child a mistake is not something I agree with.

  2. Avatar of Alex Alex says:

    I think that if she is not ready to make the commitment to a child, then, she is 100 percent right in not having one right now. I got pregnant with my daughter a little less than a year after getting married. Both my husband and I really wanted a child. It is my opinion that it really doesn’t matter when you have children (after marriage), if you aren’t willing to put a child before yourself (e.g. flying on airplanes without a child),then DO NOT have a child!

  3. Avatar of Sarai Sarai says:

    I totally agree with Nikki and I understand completely where she is coming from. I’ve known lots of people who marry young and have kids within the first few years that wish they’d waited longer until they were more settled in their marriage and life. Not that they regretting their kids or loved them any less but when you get married you should focus on the marriage and relationship first before starting a family.

  4. Avatar of Lacey Lacey says:

    I actually agree with the words Nikki said (not the question asked by the post’s author). You shouldn’t "just [have kids right away]." A husband and wife should seriously consider, discuss and pray about when to start having kids.
    I DO think it’s a major mistake to just let it happen without discussion and conversation. I DON’T think it’s a mistake to have children shortly after marriage IF you and your spouse have discussed it and decided that is right for you.
    A lot of couples don’t do the work to get ready for a child (and I don’t think finances is the only or even always the primary concern) and that’s the mistake.
    Consciously having a child is never a mistake.

  5. Avatar of Sandy Sandy says:

    In my opinion, children are never a "mistake", they are a blessing.. poor choice of wording on Nikki’s part…

  6. Avatar of meggiepoo meggiepoo says:

    As the mother of a newborn, and someone who first began pregnant within a year of getting married, I completely agree with her. Marriage and children are both very big commitments and adjustments in life. It only makes sense to me to tackle them one at a time rather than trying to accomplish both asap. I don’t know if I would have used her choice of words but she makes a good point. Allow yourself to get used to being married and then worry about being a parent but to each their own.

  7. Avatar of rebeca rebeca says:

    A mistake? Wow thats harsh. I do kind of see where shes coming from. Many people rush into having kids when they are not financially,emotionally and mentally stable and prepared to be a parent. Having a kid changes your entire life. You have to be willing to make sacrificies you ve never even thought of. Its a big responsability. I was rushing into getting pregnant. I was 23 married and felt pressured by family. When i finally had my daughter i was clueless on how hard being a mother was. It hit me pretty hard. My everyday routine now revolves around the babys schedule. I took for granted all the freedom i had.now i long for it. Dont get me wrong. I LOVE my daughter to death and im blessed to have her. But i probably would have waited a bit longer and enjoyed life a bit more.

  8. Avatar of meandmyabbyk meandmyabbyk says:

    Well, good thing she isn’t deciding to have kids…. If she’s immature to say anyones life choice is a mistake then her kids will suffer from her parenting..provided she even does her own parenting, as a celebrity, they generally have nannies mother their kids.

  9. Avatar of Patience Patience says:

    I feel the word "mistake" is being taken out of context. I agree with Nikki that there are lots of things newlyweds want and need to do before they are ready to add a child to the mix, espcially famous couples because they are so busy as it is. I don’t think she is saying having a child in general is a mistake, she is saying having a child before she is ready is not fair to her or the child. I feel for famous people when they share their opinion because it is often taken out of context and extremely criticisized when all they were doing was giving their opinion. My husband and I had a child before we were married, we had been together for 2 years and decided to have a baby, and there has been times when I wish i would have waited but I am very blessed to have my daughter.

  10. Avatar of Jennifer Jennifer says:

    I have to say I agree with the fact that most people are mentally unready to be parents at a young age. Using the word "mistake" was not the best choice of word; however, she’s not perfect, like every single one of us. I’m having my first child at 36 and I can 100% say that I am ready now AND I’m 500% certain I was not in my 20′s LOL I have been in a relationship for over 10 years and we have had so much fun traveling and building a foundation in which we can share with a child.

  11. Avatar of Tamara Tamara says:

    I’m sorry, but I agree with her. My husband and I been married for 3 years. It gonna take another 3 before we even think about a baby.

  12. Avatar of meredith meredith says:

    I think "mistake" is a touchy word, but everyone’s relationship and situation is different.

  13. Avatar of marylove marylove says:

    My husband and I had kids before we were married and we have done just fine! I think it’s up to you when a good time is… It also depends on your mentality and how you veiw yourself and your relationship. To each their own!

  14. same with me. My husband got a girl pregnant in high school and married her because of it. Of course that was a disaster so we took our time!

  15. Avatar of Katherine Katherine says:

    I don’t necessarily think it’s a mistake when couple’s get pregnant soon after getting married (I got pregnant on our first anniversary) but I do think it’s a good idea to spend time just enjoying being with each other for a while to get the hang of marriage before you bring another person into the family. Is it a mistake to skip that step? No. But I think it’s a very helpful step and gives couples an opportunity to really strengthen their relationship before having a child which no matter what is taxing on a marriage.

  16. So she wants to wait a few years. Big whoop. I agree with her. Our families were supportive in that they didn’t pressure us to have children right away. My child was born about seven years after I got married, and nearly 10 years after my husband and I met. I think it was great that we got so much time to just the two of us. I believe it made our commitment to survive the first year of parenthood (which can be pretty brutal) that much stronger for it.

  17. Avatar of heps7 heps7 says:

    4 months after I got married I got pregnant and I was 24 when I had my son. I think if you want children, it doesn’t matter how long into your marriage you wait.

  18. Avatar of marichinno marichinno says:

    I feel that when a couple is ready to start a family and not how soon into the marriage they start having a family. A month after I married my husband we got pregnant and was 25 when I had her. This is what we wanted was to start a family sooner than later cause we were ready to parents.

  19. Avatar of michelle michelle says:

    My name is michelle I had my first daughter when I was 21 at first I thought it was a mistake but to watch her everyday has she grows up its less of a mistake and now she is 9yrs old I have no regrets at all and now I am a mom of 3 daughters and loving it.

  20. I’ve been married for less than a year and we are trying to conceive. I am young too, 23, and I believe that it’s not a mistake, but something to be seriously considered. Being 23 there are a lot of things I would like to do that having children would make it difficult to do, like travel, but we have decided that we want a family more and when the time comes we will travel as a family. I do respect Nikki’s opinion because maybe for her jumping right into starting a family would be a poor decision. I think using "mistake" was just poor wording.

  21. Avatar of Stacey Stacey says:

    having the chld is not a mistake it may be too soon for a person but once you meet your child for the first time, it’ll all be worth it. but child birth is never a mistake.

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