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It Takes a Village
Thursday, September 29, 2011 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
Years ago, Hillary Rodham Clinton wrote a book entitled “It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.” “It takes a village to raise a child” is actually an African proverb I love and embrace when it comes to philosophies about parenting.
When it comes to our wee ones’ developing personality, there are some things that are genetic (they will be what they will be/are what they are), but there are others that are definitely shaped by environment (people, places, and other experiences). These environmental factors are our village.
Who’s in your village and what are they doing to support your child’s development?
I admit that, recently, none of our kiddo’s grandparents came to the tea party at preschool. Why? Well, we didn’t invite them. Yes, I’m admitting this on the web and this could be BIG trouble.
You see, we have wonderful grandparents, but they are not very involved in our munchkin’s life. Oh yes, we see some of them on major holidays and from time to time during the year. One of the grandparents has even watched our child a few times. None of them have ever asked to do something special with her such as an outing for just the two of them or a sleepover. Admittedly, at times, I’m a bit bitter about this, but I’m moving on to my village.
When my little one was 3 months old, I sought out childcare so I would be able to return to work. Though the idea of staying home full-time definitely crossed my mind, the investment in my college education and 10 years as a professional also had to be considered. Besides, we’re all superwomen, right? We can do anything. Well, as it ended up, I was able to do most things with the help of my Kay. Kay was a stranger that has turned into family. I like to think of her as “Aunt Kay.” She has had a stronger impact in my child’s development than some of our family.
There’s also our neighborhood buddies. We’ve been fortunate enough to hook up with two other families. Our girls are less than 3 months apart in age. We bring our kids together, celebrating holidays, birthdays, and meeting up to play at the park. As our kiddos get older, we’re finding there are more impromptu play dates and occasional swaps of one family hanging out with the kids while another tends to some well-needed yard work.
Even at my work, there is a village that has been created for my daughter. My colleagues show kindness and patience when my kiddo tags along. They have been known to snag something special at the store when they have seen something that has reminded them of her.
Now, there is her preschool community. I can’t even begin to measure its impact. From relationships to resources, they are a vital part of our village.
I can’t leave out our next-door neighbors who are nearing 90 years young. Since she has been able, she runs to the fence to smile, wave, or receive the gift of a book that they generously share with her.
There are a host of other acquaintances that have made an impact on my daughter’s life. These include the stranger that shows her the politeness of holding a door while we enter a store or the bank teller that smiles and asks her how she is today.
Our village is diverse. The views and values they share with our child and our family is different, but valued. Each one has influenced our little one’s personality, impacting her development. I am thankful for all. I believe in the village.
What about you?
