14-year-old Nadia Ilse is excited to no longer be called “Dumbo” or “elephant ears” by her classmates. She recently had plastic surgery to change her appearance, thanks to the Little Baby Face Foundation, a charity that helps children born with facial deformities.
She has been bullied since the first grade because of her ears and even “begged her mother at the age of 10 for an otoplasty – an operation to pin her ears back.”
The Little Baby Face Foundation contacted Nadia’s mother, flew them both to New York City, and provided about $40,000 of free plastic surgery – her ears were corrected, and she also received rhinoplasty, reducing the size of her nose, and mentoplasty, altering her chin. Nadia is not the first child to go under the knife to avoid bullying, and she won’t be the last (90,000 youth reportedly underwent cosmetic surgery in 2007).
I wonder, however, what type of message we send our children – the bullies and the bullied – when we support decisions to alter appearance purely to avoid name-calling and harassment. I fear this could turn into a new level of bullying. Hey – you’re so ugly! Why don’t you just go get a nose job! Or the comments could be worse. You got a nose job? You still look pretty ugly to me! Hey, Everyone! Bird Beak tried to get a new nose!! How will that then make the bullied child feel? I mean, if the nose was fixed, but not the actual problem, then what? Or what about: Mom, Suzie got a nose job, why can’t I? Can I also get my chin changed? I want to look like Stacy. No one makes fun of Stacy!
Um … no, you may not.
“While Nadia says she knows she should have been accepted as she was before the surgery, she also knew the bullying wouldn’t end and has no regrets following the procedure.”
“Nadia must still start counseling as part of her treatment to overcome the years of psychological distress from bullying, but Little Baby Face board member Don Moriarity told MailOnline that Nadia’s new outlook demonstrates the group’s mission … [to transform] the lives of these children and [give] them newfound confidence.”
If Nadia was my child, I think I would have allowed her to get an otoplasty; and I even would’ve allowed her to get it at a much younger age – even before she began schooling. But I don’t think I would’ve allowed her to alter her nose and chin too. There are a lot of gorgeous women whose beauty comes from having less-than-standard features; noses and chins come in many different shapes and sizes. However, Nadia is not my child; I am not the mother who comforted her after a long day of bullying at school.
But I don’t think the actual bullying problem was addressed. As parents, I think we need to make sure we know the difference between changing our children’s futures for the better versus just changing our children.
What do you think? Would you let your child get plastic surgery to put an end to bullying? Would you let your child get plastic surgery just because he/she didn’t like the way he/she looked?