Do You SLEEP with Your Husband/Partner?

Sunday, July 8th, 2012 by from Mom, Myself, & I

couple trying to sleep 

This might come as a shock. But I don’t sleep with my husband unless circumstances absolutely force me to do so. Sound awful? 

Get your mind out of the gutters ladies; what I mean is that I don’t SLEEP with my husband. He snores. A lot. And he makes funny noises while he sleeps. Then he snores some more. And I find that motherhood has made me such a light sleeper, that I am constantly waking up because of his snoring. And then, because I am awake and paying attention to the snoring, I cannot fall back asleep. And I am one of those people that need my sleep. 

So I don’t sleep with my husband. And it’s probably better for him too, because I find myself constantly punching him, putting my hand over his mouth, kicking him in the shins, and pinching his nose closed when his snoring becomes obnoxious. (And then he wonders why he wakes up with bruises. LOL)

Recently, after a 3 day AWAY softball tournament with a group of other parents, I found out that most of the other moms there didn’t sleep with their husbands either. 

As we were all sitting around sipping coffee and energy drinks to drag us from our morning sleepiness caused by being FORCED to sleep in a hotel with our partners, we were commiserating about how awful our partners snoring habits were and how difficult co-sleeping really was. I wanted to do the happy dance, because I realized I wasn’t alone. And each of these women knew other women – who also knew women who knew women - who felt the same way and who didn’t sleep with their husbands either. 

Funny thing is I thought I was one of the only women in the world who preferred not to SLEEP with her husband. Sure, I love to snuggle with him and lie in bed with him in the morning or before sleep. But when it comes to actually catching some Z’s, I find that I am more successful on my own – or with my kids. It’s interesting that I can sleep with my kids without a problem despite being kicked and prodded all night long, but that I cannot stand sleeping next to a snoring man that I love. 

Maybe we should take a survey. Do you get more sleep in bed next to your partner, or do you find that sleeping alone enables you to feel more rested?

What do you think? Do You SLEEP with Your Husband/Partner?

Stef DanielAuthor

Stef Daniel is the 40ish year old, experienced (meaning crazy already) mother of count ‘em…4 daughters (yes, she takes prayers) who have taught her nearly E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G she needs to know about raising kids and staying sane. She hails from a small town in Georgia where she lives with her family in a red tin roofed house (w ... More

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106 comments

  1. Avatar of chrissy chrissy says:

    I love this article and the comments. I thought I was crazy too. My husband and I have been together for 19 years and he’s always been a 3rd shifter so I got very use to sleeping just me and the cats. 2 years ago he got a new job and since we have 2 kids now he choose to bid day shift. It’s still a rough transition. He snores at times and he’s always been a restless sleeper at night. There’s times I wish I could push him outta bed! I love him but I am a very light sleeper so he drives me nuts at night. I still get overjoyed when he passes out downstairs in his chair cause I get a good night’s sleep. Lol

  2. Avatar of kim kim says:

    Yes i do and i barely get any sleep between his constant snoring and my son swimming around and doing cartwheels in my womb. I would sleep alone because of how bad he snores and makes other sleep wakingly terrifying sounds he makes but with my anxiety and vivid nightmares (worsned during pregnancy) i find it better to have him there in case! However, i do know exactly how that is where the snoring, and/or startling sound, then be focused on it and making it even harder to fall back to sleep. also, this is my first pregnancy and so i’ve got more to experience in this department lol

  3. Avatar of JODI JODI says:

    My husband and I dont sleep well together. He snores and is like sleeping with an octopus in a tornado. Hes 6’4 and can hog a king size bed by himself. Also he likes a very firm mattress and I end up with a backache after about 3hrs and get up and go to the other room. I like the mattress inthe other room because it is softer so just sleep there to get the best sleep. I can sleep just fine when my 6yr old wants to crawl in but can not sleep at all with my husband. From the time I was little my grand parents slept in separate twin beds. He tossed and turned a lot and would thrash and hurt her in his sleep without knowing it. My parents slept in the same bed until my dad spent 90 days in the hospital and passed away last month. I sleep better alone.

  4. Avatar of Bethanie Bethanie says:

    I enjoy sleeping next to my husband, although he does snore. I find it difficult to fall asleep without him next to me. I have become so accustom to his snoring that eventually I do fall asleep or fall back asleep. I would rather be next to him than in a different bed. We have been married for 1 year and 2 months, so maybe it is because we are still in the newlywed stage! Or maybe it is because I am so tired with this pregnancy (I am due in a few days) that his snoring doesn’t bother me!

  5. Avatar of Destiny Destiny says:

    I can’t imagine wanting to NOT sleep with my boyfriend. I have a horrible time trying to fall asleep without him. I’m so use to falling asleep with him that I toss and turn when he’s not in bed with me.

  6. Avatar of Heidi Heidi says:

    I enjoy sleeping with my fiance the majority of the time. He doesnt snore but has a tendency to steal the covers or try to sleep on me, neither of which he remembers in the morning. He moves a lot in the mornings and I dont mind it too much, its sweet how he tries to cuddle in his sleep. With the pregnancy being so uncomfortable at timea i do have to push him away or wake him up, but since i started snoring i can live with it since he doesnt complain about the snoring. Might start using seperate blankets all the time though.

  7. Avatar of Krystal Krystal says:

    I sleep with my husband. We had trouble early on because I needed it to be completly dark and he prefered to have a light on. We figured out that a rope light provided enough light for him to feel comfortable, while still being dark enough for me to sleep. Also found out about a year ago that he had trouble sleeping because I used to move around alot at night. Hasn’t been much of a problem though since we got married. Until I got pregnant I couldn’t sleep more then an hour without him nearby. Still freaks me out on occasion when I wake up andhe’s not there thoughh.

  8. Avatar of Rebekkah Rebekkah says:

    My boyfriend and I sleep together every night I wouldn’t be comfortable without next to me even with the occasional snoring or the occasional deadly farts I wouldn’t be able to sleep without him. There is something about being able to roll over and have him right there puts me at ease.

  9. Avatar of Nikita Nikita says:

    I can’t sleep, let alone stay asleep without my husband in bed. Even now that I’m pregnant, my husband’s snoring got better over time by loosing weight and by changing his eating habits. Before all these changes I still was able to sleep through the night. I guess sleeping above my parents for years and both parents snoring I’m use to it. I’m a very light sleeper but I’ve learned what to wake up for and what to sleep through. Maybe due to the military too, but all I know now that I’m pregnant, is if my husband isn’t in bed by 3a.m. I’m wide awake giving him an earful on how I can’t stay asleep w/out him. LOL!

  10. Avatar of CHIQUITA CHIQUITA says:

    BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT I COULD NOT SLEEP WITHOUT MY HUSBAND BUT NOW THAT THE SITUATION HAS CHANGED I FIND MYSELF UP WHILE HE IS “CALLING THE COWS”! LOL I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT THE SNORING PREVENTS ME FROM SLEEPING AT ALL AND TO TOP IT OFF SINCE I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT HE TOSS AND TURN IN HIS SLEEP. I THOUGHT IT WAS STRANGE BECAUSE IT IS LIKE WE SWITHCHED PLACES ON THE TOSSING AND TURNING. WITH ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, I JUST LIKE TO WATCH HIM GET REST AND PRAY THAT HE WILL WAKE SOON SO I CAN DOZE OFF! LOL

  11. Avatar of Alanna Alanna says:

    i can’t sleep without him. He snores but I’ve gotten used to it and it’s too quiet without him.

  12. Avatar of Krystal Krystal says:

    I can’t sleep without him! Even though he snores and there was a period of time when he was having health problems which caused me to be up all night making sure he was breathing

    • Avatar of CHIQUITA CHIQUITA says:

      SORRY TO HEAR THAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. I FIND MYSELF DOING THAT WITH MY HUBBY BECAUSE HE MAKES THIS SOUND AND THEN HIS BREATH STOPS. IT KIND OF WORRIES ME BUT WHEN I BUMP HIM HE BREATHS AGAIN. IF YOU DON’T MIND ME ASKING WHAT WAS YOU HUSBANDS SICKNESS?

  13. Avatar of Krystal Krystal says:

    I can’t sleep without him! Even though he snores and there was a period of time when he was having health problems which caused me to be up all night making sure he was breathing I can’t get any sleep if we aren’t together. I find the sound of him breathing and snoring soothing.

  14. Avatar of Adilene Adilene says:

    I sleep with my husband every night, but I fall asleep early and he doesn’t come to bed until midnight. The few hours I sleep alone, I find a lot more relaxing. Once he lays down next to me, he wakes me up. Throughout the night he accidentally hits my head or tries to hug me and I push him away because I like to have my own space to spread out. I’ve always been a heavy sleeper and pregnancy has changed that a bit. His snoring doesn’t wake me up but when I get up for night restroom brakes, it does take me a bit longer to go back to sleep.

  15. Avatar of Adilene Adilene says:

    I sleep with my husband every night, but I fall asleep early and he doesn’t come to bed until midnight. The few hours I’m asleep alone, I find a lot more relaxing. Once he lays down next to me, he wakes me up or accidentally hits my head. I’ve always been a heavy sleeper and pregnancy has changed that a bit. His snoring doesn’t wake me up but when I get up for night restroom brakes, it does take me a bit longer to go back to sleep.

  16. Avatar of Stephanie Stephanie says:

    My husband snores and grinds his teeth and it is annoying but I can’t fall asleep without him next to me. The first couple of years we were together he was out of the country so I think that’s why I can’t sleep with out him lol

    • Avatar of CHIQUITA CHIQUITA says:

      I FOUND IT HARD TO SLEEP WITHOUT MY HUSBAND WHEN HE BECAME A TRUCK DRIVER BUT WHEN HE CAME HOME I WAS HAPPY TO BE NEXT TO HIM AND HIS SNORING! NOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED DUE TO ME BEING PREGNANT HE CAN NOT GET ON MY NERVES ENOUGH WITH THE SNORING! LOL I STILL LOVE HIM THOUGH! LOL

  17. Avatar of Jenny Jenny says:

    How interesting! It definitely makes sense to sleep in whatever situation gives you the best nights rest, although I love sleeping by my husband. He does not snore (thank goodness!) but he does take up a lot of room and hit me in the head with his elbows sometimes! We have a queen-sized bed, maybe it is time for a king?

  18. Avatar of melissa melissa says:

    I can’t imagine not sleeping with my husband. He grinds his teeth and talks, but I would rather hear that, than not feel him next to me.

  19. Avatar of Kayla Kayla says:

    I have always been a light sleeper, so when my husband snores I just tap him and he moves, which stops his snoring for the night. I’d really miss sleeping with him if I didn’t. We tried it once. Something I don’t prefer.

  20. Avatar of Samantha Samantha says:

    I sleep with my husband every night (unless he is at work or gone for work related things) I can tolerate his snoring and teeth grinding, yes it drives me crazy at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am sure I snore and do things that bother him as well.

  21. Avatar of Brugine Brugine says:

    I do like to sleep and cuddle with my partner , but the snoring is unbearable at times, especially if i have work early the next day. At the same time, i dont want to leave the bed because this is where i am most comfortable, and it would be mean sending him to sleep on the couch.

  22. Avatar of JoyRied JoyRied says:

    I love sleeping with my husband. He is my human heater. But sometimes I wish he wouldn’t take up most of the bed after cuddle time is over. Time for a bigger bed! lol

  23. Avatar of Amanda Amanda says:

    My husband snores lightly which is more like a lullaby to me then a wake up call so we definitely sleep together at night even though I like my naps in the chair during the day.

  24. Avatar of joyce joyce says:

    I find sleeping alone I get more sleep but I do sleep with him in our bed at night but I take a nap during the day to catch up on the sleep I didn’t get the night before.

  25. Avatar of Jamie Jamie says:

    My husband likes to lay right next to me, and I mean right next to me!! I love sleeping with him don’t get me wrong but once in awhile I would love to just spread out and take half the bed instead of sleeping in my little corner LOL

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