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  Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

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Thursday, April 28, 2011 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

The first time I said good-bye to my baby, I went to the bookstore for a half hour. That half hour seemed to last half a day. I think she was about eight weeks old. Just recovering from a c-section, I was back behind the wheel and looking at the realities of returning to work. Intending to take 12 weeks off work, I wasn't going to wait until the last minute to drop her off at childcare and hope that all would be "okay."

I was all about making a smooth and successful transition, both for me and her.

Have you left your baby yet? Are you ready?

Have you heard that when you leave your baby won't know the difference? Don't underestimate your baby.

Your baby knows you. Your baby knows your smell. Your baby knows your voice.

No, this isn't a guilt trip. I've been a working-outside-the-home mama ever since my little girl was about 12 weeks old.

And, you know what? We've both been more than okay.

Not sure about leaving your baby?

Take the time and plan for the transition, both for you and your little one.

• First and foremost, YOU need to be comfortable and confident with your decision of leaving your baby and with whom you are leaving them with.

I was comfortable leaving my baby for short time periods in order to work. I have NOT been comfortable leaving my baby for the full day, or for a night for that matter (it's going on 4+ years and I've not yet been able to take an overnight trip away from her... In reality, I figure that within a few years, she'll be waving good-bye as she ventures to a friend or family member's for the first time).

• Prepare yourself. Prepare your baby.

In terms of yourself, this may be taking care of the logistics (i.e. making a plan to pump in order to maintain breastfeeding, making lists of emergency - and non-emergency - phone contacts, etc).

In terms of your baby, give them a heads-up. Seriously, talk to them about it. If your caregiver is going to be someone new, be sure to make ample visits so your baby can get to know this person and your caregiver can get to know your baby. DO plan on paying a caregiver for these visits, even if you are not yet leaving your child in their care (caregiving is a profession - be sure to let your caregiver know you value them, as well as their services).

• Take it slow. Leaving your baby is not like driving a sportscar. This is not a time to go from 0 to 60 in a few seconds. You and your baby will need time. Plan on the first few visits being shorter and then eventually increasing the time for you and your baby to be apart. Note: it may be worth returning to work a week or two earlier IF it means a slower transition, working back up to part-time or full-time hours.
• Check in and communicate often. I used to leave detailed lists for my caregiver. They included my baby's likes, dislikes, and any and all information I wanted them to know about my munchkin. NEVER assume that your caregiver or anyone else will simply know what is best for your baby. YOU are your child's best advocate. On the flip side, be prepared to be a bit flexible and recognize that though a caregiver may do things differently, this doesn't mean they are neccessarily wrong.
•  
• Finally, don't forget that when it is time to leave, DO say "bye bye baby." Good-byes may be difficult. When they are, your baby is going to look to you for strength and encouragement. This isn't the time to break down in tears (save that for your car ride). It's a time to know that you are providing the very best care for baby when you cannot be there and you are making good decisions for your family. NEVER sneak off. No matter how little baby is, saying "bye bye" is important.

Ready to say "bye-bye" to baby? 

Let me know how it goes... wishing you all the best!

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