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Action and Reaction
Monday, June 06, 2011 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
For every action, there is a reaction. Isn’t that a scientific principle? Although I’ve been away from science class for quite some time, I find new meaning in this saying each time I discipline my munchkin. Actually, I hate the word “discipline;” I find it kind of old school. I like the words "behavior management" much better. Though a bit "Edu-speak," think about it; isn’t that what you are trying to do, manage behavior?
I loved infancy; the little one could do no wrong. If she needed milk, a diaper change, and more, I gave. It was easy. At least now, with a toddler, I find it easy in perspective!
Toddlerhood came and rocked my world. The child had a mind of her own and wasn’t afraid to “voice” her opinions. Now, what to do?
Ah yes, behavior management. For every action, there is a reaction that will influence and shape her development.
Case scenarios:
*Your munchkin drops a cup. Do you pick it up, or let it lie? If you continue to pick it up, will she just throw it again? If you let it lie, will she scream? What do you want to teach her?
*Your child lays down on the floor and has a tantrum over not getting XYZ (and ABCDEFGHIJ…). Do you let him lie there and scream? Do you pick him up and carry him to a safe, secure space and let him scream it out, or do you comfort him? Again, what are you trying to teach him? I see a lot of people missing the boat on teaching opportunities, especially when it comes to action and reaction. Let’s face it; we get tired, and we get lazy. Sometimes, we take the easy way out.
I see people give in and simply give the child what they want in order to make the tantrum stop. Question: could the tantrum have been avoided in the first place? What did the child want; was it appropriate or feasible?
I see frustrated people who simply "shhh...," or, worse yet, yell, or even smack their child (PLEASE DON’T SPANK, or provide any other physical form of discipline. IT DOES NO GOOD!). What will your child learn from this?
It’s all about action and reaction.
Think about it.
What are you teaching your child today?
