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8 Things to Think About When Deciding to Go It Alone: Getting Pregnant When You’re Single
Author: Melissa Maypole
If you are considering having a baby without being in a relationship, you aren’t alone. As of 2009, children of single parents accounted for 40 percent of the US population, according to the NY Times. Whether you have decided to become a single mother out of necessity, or think it is the only option for you at this time, take some time to look at the whole picture. As a single mother, you should be prepared for certain challenges along the way that will develop as a result of your situation. Here are eight essential things you should consider before making the leap into parenthood as a single mother.
- Fertility: If you are a mother who is over the age of 35, you’ll have less of a chance of getting pregnant than if you were in your 20s. You may need to consider seeing a fertility specialist to help you to conceive.
- Artificial Insemination: Consider the process of choosing a sperm donor, if you want to get pregnant without a partner.
- Father’s Rights: If you don’t want to have the father in the child’s life, you need to consider his legal rights, and get a lawyer. Have the court grant you sole custody or terminate the father’s rights; otherwise, the father may decide he wants to be a part of the child’s life and will have every right to do so.
- Finances: Be prepared financially before having a child in order to avoid unnecessary stress. Because you’ll be the sole supporter of your child, you’ll need to make sure you have enough money to cover at least six months of rent, utilities, and expenses, as well as life insurance in case you die, a will to protect your child’s custody, and a steady job.
- Dating?: Even though you are deciding to have a baby alone, you should think seriously about whether you will decide to date in the future. If you do, you should consider how having more than one male influence in your child’s life will affect your child. Studies show that single mothers who date tend to have more of a negative reaction to the breakup scene, primarily because they expected the male to be in the child’s life for the long-term.
- Social Life: While you’ll no doubt have less time to socialize, you’ll need it more than partnered parents to prevent yourself from becoming depressed. Depressed, single parents are more likely to raise children who will suffer from mental illness as adults.
- Childcare: As a single mother, you’ll be in greater need for childcare than someone with a partner around. You’ll need to find someone, preferably a neighbor or family member who lives close by, who can babysit on a short notice. For example, you may suddenly become ill and need someone to come over in the middle of the night to care for your newborn.
- Social Norms: While single parenting has definitely risen in the past few decades, there are still some community groups, such as churches, who may look down on you for being a single parent. Even though this will most likely have a negative effect on you, you will need to have a positive response for the sake of your child.
You’ll need to be prepared for some weighty challenges, if you choose to have a baby while single. There are plenty of resources available to help you along the way. Join a single parent group in your local area, or even online—as with anything else in life, having someone to talk to and share ideas with will make the journey through single parenthood a whole lot smoother.
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